well this really failed

I feel like my paranoia is starting to rise again
what if they're hiding something?
what if They return?
what if everyone actually hates me and I'm just delusional?
hope i don't get overcomed by it like last time

i can't
they don't care
no one cares
they didn't notice
they don't care
they think i'm fine and i don't want to disappoint everyone
i thought i was fine too but just like the last time it all fell down and i'm very depressed now
this account is my only help
i hate myself
i'm sorry

helping people is nice but i'm so burned out
i don't want to do anything at all
all my value is in helping others and i suck at it anyway
i can't sleep, can't eat, can't draw, can't talk a lot of times
i'm horrible but i should keep going

The hive grows
Just wanted to tell you that you matter
Always remember that

i hate my friends
all of them are most likely transphobic and they dont yet know im trans

Speak.
We will listen.
We will love.