So safe the likkle Jackahuahua female I fostered when she was pregnant had her puppies on my bed...
It was one of the highlights of the last few years.
Her former owner eventually surrendered her to me for keeps...

I've finally figured out what I want to be for Halloween...
Pissed !

Stupid question of the day...

How the hell do you rejoin the dating game after a 23yr relationship ends (with 100% faithfulness on both sides)?

So,
How do you know when your small talk game is piss poor?
When your taxi driver turns his radio up while you're talking to him...

That feeling when your 23year relationship comes to an abrupt end...

I feel like I've been turned inside out...

Neighbour: I saw a picture of you, online, in a kilt. Damn you were handsome when you were younger.
Me: So you're saying I'm not now?
Neighbour:
Me:
Neighbour:

Day ruined (sighs)...

I have a lovely table for two booked for me and the Missus tonight, but she's not happy about it...
She doesn't have her own cue!

I was recently awarded a black belt for pussy eating...
I'm a tongue - fu master!

Me cupping one of my wife's boob's...
My Wife: Don't say it!
Me: I feel a right tit today...

My Mrs: What would you like?
Me: A big wet sloppy kiss and a pair of boob's in my face!
My Mrs: .... Tea or coffee....

😂😂😂

My first post...
One of my tarantulas has sadly passed away 😭
I had it from a tiny sling to a mature adult male...
It was a Guatemalan Tiger Rump (Davus Pentaloris).
🌈🕷🕸🌈