control of my life. it makes shit worse but in the moment i feel in control. it’s a weird fucked thing but yeah the toxicity i’ve been seeing there and other places on the internet.

it’s just been NOT GREAT BOB

as much as i don’t like to focus on my EDs of the past, truth is; whenever i’m super stressed or feeling depressed like now; my first go to is to binge and purge to regain

idk man, all the negative and endless discussion over women’s bodies on THAT SITE, was scary for me in wrt my own recovery.

and i wanted to pass that shit in my life but i’ve gained some weight lately and i’ve had the impulse to binge and purge and i haven’t done that in two years. and like my weight gain hasn’t been major. but it still…