THE SPIRIT OF THE ROCKSTAR LIVES WITHIN YOU 🤘🏼🤘🏼🤘🏼

I need to stop gossiping to the new hires

Me to all my friends in long term relationships:

How does it feel to be in a long term relationship while some of us suffer out here among those who have started to fuck robots take up space in the dating pool?

Gotta love familial trauma dumping

Why is there not a Dunkin on Ellis Island?

there is something so devastating about remembering your first college apartment. the one that felt like home in a way your childhood bedroom never could. the one that was filled with sweaty bodies from the first time you hosted a real college party. where you found your closest, truest friends.

trying to tell my friends i’m Not Crazy and that the ice bucket challenge is back

I CAN PROVE IT

www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/...

friend on the phone just told me he saw the easter bunny getting into a car… bros a week early did he get the date wrong???

if the easter bunny is early does that mean we get six more weeks of spring?

finish your fucking watercolor you god damn girl scout

*burp* morty, my target haul *burp*

back to using sticky notes to remember things… i’m overwhelmed

so annoying when my name gets slandered. leave me out of it!!!

something about saying what with no question mark at the end is so unserious.. just…

what

like it’s so vague and demeaning. i love it.

@oreoofficial.bsky.social should do a collab with the Girl Scouts. give the people Thin Mint Oreos cowards