Im sorry i just let this out.

All i can do is literally just keep an eye on him and try to fix everything he is breaking or turn off everything he is turning on while he is not looking while trying to not let his words get to me.
But its getting harder.

Always did everything and fixed everything. He has always been strong european immigrant dad. So loosing that is hurting him and adding to the confusion.

I know he is scared. And he doesnt know how to process it because he gets lost but still sneaks out because he wants to prove he can still do things. He tries to “fix” things that are not broken and breaks them. But we cant do anything to stop him.
He hasnt forgotten me yet but he is a man who-

The thing that is hurting the most is watching my father become more childish mean and paranoid. We cannot tell him how to do things nor can i help him. If we try to help him he gets angry thinking we think he is an idiot. Im the youngest, me trying to help is mistaken as me giving him orders

its as jo said.
they do some shady updates sometimes