It feels very silly that I spend so much effort to be a person who is interesting, kind, considerate, funny, thoughtful, informed, curious, smart and good looking but men won't go to therapy, the gym, or ask what books I'm reading.

I've had to plan cross-border moves, getting into grad school, dealing with layoffs, 800-page immigration applications, reported features, international adventure trips, solo-backpacking nine countries, learning languages, and how to train my dog. I don't have time or energy for men who can't plan.

I didn't think I would be single at this age, childless, freshly laid off and have a dog. But I am so glad that 99% of the men I dated I never married or had kids with them, because they would have been god-awful life partners. Only a handful made actual restaurant reservations.

My mom's divorce of my dad was such an eye-opener for me because he never bought her flowers, never celebrated her birthday, rarely bought her gifts, and was never affectionate. No "please" or "thank you" in my childhood. It was a truly terrible relationship model I have spent years unlearning.

In addition to my career, making sure I take care of bills and chores, as well as caring for my dog, I have to do my hair, makeup, dress nice, and worry about my safety constantly and on the way to a venue. One man showed up to a date an hour later than we agreed.

Straight and bisexual women already have to deal with so much every day and then *do* so much before dates but men are complaining about actual standards and boundaries like "he needs to book a restaurant", "he needs to work out in some capacity" and "he needs to have a bed frame".