Matt Cassidy
@m-cassidy.bsky.social
J. Crew Factory Outlet Sales Associate of the Month for July of 2002 in Birch Run, MI (Factory Outlet Store #9)
You should get a quaint little sign for the mantle with "Fuckin' Ickey Shuffle like no one's going to call you a soup sandwich" painted in cursive.
January 18, 2026 at 6:43 PM
You should get a quaint little sign for the mantle with "Fuckin' Ickey Shuffle like no one's going to call you a soup sandwich" painted in cursive.
That reminds me of my favorite Lincoln quote: "Ugghh...I kind of wish we would stop saying "Abolish the Confederacy" - it's just not polling well with some key demographics."
January 16, 2026 at 2:02 PM
That reminds me of my favorite Lincoln quote: "Ugghh...I kind of wish we would stop saying "Abolish the Confederacy" - it's just not polling well with some key demographics."
Am I correct to assume that this probably has to do with a Door Dashed burrito?
January 16, 2026 at 4:55 AM
Am I correct to assume that this probably has to do with a Door Dashed burrito?
I was wondering if you were going to have room for both the Mamdani bus and the skeleton. That answers that.
January 7, 2026 at 4:26 AM
I was wondering if you were going to have room for both the Mamdani bus and the skeleton. That answers that.
I started to read the statement but only got as far as learning the Prime Minister of Poland's name is Tusk. If he doesn't enter all state functions to the USC Marching Band's drumline...why even have that name and be a Prime Minister?
January 6, 2026 at 1:47 PM
I started to read the statement but only got as far as learning the Prime Minister of Poland's name is Tusk. If he doesn't enter all state functions to the USC Marching Band's drumline...why even have that name and be a Prime Minister?
To be honest - that's actually a really good reason.
January 6, 2026 at 1:36 PM
To be honest - that's actually a really good reason.
I was a little bit older but definitely had a "No, we are not stopping at THAT rest area, you will have to hold it" conversation with my parents. It had the same ending as yours.
January 5, 2026 at 3:26 PM
I was a little bit older but definitely had a "No, we are not stopping at THAT rest area, you will have to hold it" conversation with my parents. It had the same ending as yours.
It now just says "No, not like that."
January 5, 2026 at 3:20 PM
It now just says "No, not like that."
I am not sure this is helping to make the case for a 4-day work week.
January 5, 2026 at 3:18 PM
I am not sure this is helping to make the case for a 4-day work week.
(Well same, but my own wife).
January 2, 2026 at 3:37 AM
(Well same, but my own wife).
But last year didn’t they show up while you were still wearing your King Jareth from Labyrinth costume?
December 26, 2025 at 3:33 AM
But last year didn’t they show up while you were still wearing your King Jareth from Labyrinth costume?
Hey, you ordered the “meat burrito”.
December 26, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Hey, you ordered the “meat burrito”.
I can assure you, that when I - a very strong man - texted you, it was with tears in my eyes. Like you wouldn’t believe.
December 26, 2025 at 3:23 AM
I can assure you, that when I - a very strong man - texted you, it was with tears in my eyes. Like you wouldn’t believe.
Bubba's massive shift in attitude and outlook was really refreshing. An underrated story in 2025.
December 23, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Bubba's massive shift in attitude and outlook was really refreshing. An underrated story in 2025.
If you choose the right song by Dave Matthews Band as a soundtrack to the apologies, I think you can pull this off.
December 23, 2025 at 4:03 AM
If you choose the right song by Dave Matthews Band as a soundtrack to the apologies, I think you can pull this off.
The records: Rumours, Tusk, 3 from Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band, Bread's "Baby I'm-a Want You", and "York Pennsylvania Traditional Christmas Carols Played on the Factory Steam Whistle at New York Wire Company".
(this is also my answer to "What radicalized you?")
(this is also my answer to "What radicalized you?")
December 9, 2025 at 3:44 AM
The records: Rumours, Tusk, 3 from Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band, Bread's "Baby I'm-a Want You", and "York Pennsylvania Traditional Christmas Carols Played on the Factory Steam Whistle at New York Wire Company".
(this is also my answer to "What radicalized you?")
(this is also my answer to "What radicalized you?")
For me it was the family getting a new stereo system. Everyone was excited about the dual tape deck but "hey, let's get out some old records, see how they sound on the new speakers."
December 9, 2025 at 3:44 AM
For me it was the family getting a new stereo system. Everyone was excited about the dual tape deck but "hey, let's get out some old records, see how they sound on the new speakers."
Start claiming everyone is a “crisis actor” in clearly non-crisis situations.
December 8, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Start claiming everyone is a “crisis actor” in clearly non-crisis situations.
Wow. My aunt drove my dad’s Dodge Challenger through the wall of a pizzeria and they never ordered pizza from there again.
December 8, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Wow. My aunt drove my dad’s Dodge Challenger through the wall of a pizzeria and they never ordered pizza from there again.
Lock in the extended coverage on your cancer NOW. Rates are going to skyrocket in 2026. You don't want to be stuck with the costs if your cancer breaks down.
December 7, 2025 at 10:36 PM
Lock in the extended coverage on your cancer NOW. Rates are going to skyrocket in 2026. You don't want to be stuck with the costs if your cancer breaks down.
Yes! And when you need to replace the filter on your foo fighters, just spend the extra few dollars and buy the HEPA filter. Don't get the standard filter, start vacuuming drywall dust and wonder why your foo fighters suddenly has terrible efficiency. 😒
December 2, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Yes! And when you need to replace the filter on your foo fighters, just spend the extra few dollars and buy the HEPA filter. Don't get the standard filter, start vacuuming drywall dust and wonder why your foo fighters suddenly has terrible efficiency. 😒
Absolutely. As President you cannot forget this. You need to maintain an appropriate Mean Release Notification Time (MRNT). Failure to do so will likely lead to your downfall.
December 1, 2025 at 10:09 PM
Absolutely. As President you cannot forget this. You need to maintain an appropriate Mean Release Notification Time (MRNT). Failure to do so will likely lead to your downfall.
Work should not be optional - it should have the appearance of being mandatory. Then at some point on the morning of the holiday you let everyone know that they can feel free to cut out a little early to get a head start on the Kamala weekend (pending manager approval).
December 1, 2025 at 10:03 PM
Work should not be optional - it should have the appearance of being mandatory. Then at some point on the morning of the holiday you let everyone know that they can feel free to cut out a little early to get a head start on the Kamala weekend (pending manager approval).