for a moment i blessedly forgot about politics and i saw the words "big beautiful bill" and i was like oh who is bill??
October 5, 2025 at 4:49 PM
for a moment i blessedly forgot about politics and i saw the words "big beautiful bill" and i was like oh who is bill??
yesterday I passed a couple telling their young son "we're ALL looking for Michael jordan, ok?"
September 29, 2025 at 7:46 PM
yesterday I passed a couple telling their young son "we're ALL looking for Michael jordan, ok?"
can we just ask them to self-rapture?
September 23, 2025 at 4:02 PM
can we just ask them to self-rapture?
my sister to her fiancée: tell her (my mom) about the plane crash!! she'll like it
(she liked it)
(she liked it)
September 15, 2025 at 11:08 PM
my sister to her fiancée: tell her (my mom) about the plane crash!! she'll like it
(she liked it)
(she liked it)
2.5yo nephew: *grabs stack of coasters, presumably to throw*
me: what do you have?
nephew: CIRCLES!!!!!!
me: what do you have?
nephew: CIRCLES!!!!!!
September 14, 2025 at 3:25 PM
2.5yo nephew: *grabs stack of coasters, presumably to throw*
me: what do you have?
nephew: CIRCLES!!!!!!
me: what do you have?
nephew: CIRCLES!!!!!!
when I send an email this is how I looked when writing it btw
August 20, 2025 at 4:39 PM
when I send an email this is how I looked when writing it btw
is it impressive or sad that the microwave in my rented home is 22 years old?
July 25, 2025 at 6:31 PM
is it impressive or sad that the microwave in my rented home is 22 years old?
new goal is to say this to my betrayers
July 13, 2025 at 3:44 PM
new goal is to say this to my betrayers
i accidentally changed the formatting of a table in word and said oh no in the same style as the kid pix undo man
July 3, 2025 at 5:18 PM
i accidentally changed the formatting of a table in word and said oh no in the same style as the kid pix undo man
I saw some cat drama happening in my parking lot yesterday and I'm disappointed to announce I didn't employ any of the four D's of the bystander training I just did for work
June 19, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I saw some cat drama happening in my parking lot yesterday and I'm disappointed to announce I didn't employ any of the four D's of the bystander training I just did for work
my favorite after work activity is sitting down and sighing for several hours
May 29, 2025 at 10:09 PM
my favorite after work activity is sitting down and sighing for several hours
friendly reminder to those with Quiet People in their life -- do not tell a Quiet Person they are quiet. THEY KNOW !!!!!!!!!!! ok bye.
May 26, 2025 at 1:52 AM
friendly reminder to those with Quiet People in their life -- do not tell a Quiet Person they are quiet. THEY KNOW !!!!!!!!!!! ok bye.
I'M the BEST DANCER KAMUROCHO (btw does it mean anything that ogita has the same hair as majima)
May 23, 2025 at 12:38 AM
I'M the BEST DANCER KAMUROCHO (btw does it mean anything that ogita has the same hair as majima)
"because when you're just a skull, you still have teeth" my sister, on if teeth are bones
May 17, 2025 at 4:54 PM
"because when you're just a skull, you still have teeth" my sister, on if teeth are bones
Reposted by jordan 😎
New Pope Stuns Conclave By Requesting Eucharist Chicago-Style
May 8, 2025 at 8:32 PM
New Pope Stuns Conclave By Requesting Eucharist Chicago-Style
it was 5 hours after my message
May 7, 2025 at 10:56 PM
it was 5 hours after my message
thank you imessage for this sticker suggestion
April 25, 2025 at 6:27 PM
thank you imessage for this sticker suggestion
cannot express how thrilling it was to beat isobe OMG
April 16, 2025 at 2:44 AM
cannot express how thrilling it was to beat isobe OMG
my sister trying to describe barrel jeans: "are those the 'what in tarnation' pants? the 'this town ain't big enough for the two of us' pants?"
April 6, 2025 at 7:42 PM
my sister trying to describe barrel jeans: "are those the 'what in tarnation' pants? the 'this town ain't big enough for the two of us' pants?"
i had a dream i invented an app that went through your parents' phones and deleted the temu app and any temu pages in the browser. please fund me
March 5, 2025 at 2:58 PM
i had a dream i invented an app that went through your parents' phones and deleted the temu app and any temu pages in the browser. please fund me
Reposted by jordan 😎
Thinking about FFX Columbo
February 9, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Thinking about FFX Columbo
trump has signed an executive order making blue eye contacts illegal
February 2, 2025 at 1:58 AM
trump has signed an executive order making blue eye contacts illegal
hey why is the daily sponsored by the american petroleum institute
January 27, 2025 at 1:20 PM
hey why is the daily sponsored by the american petroleum institute