Fwiw I think your shading looks really nice!

is it ridiculous to miss someone u saw less than 4 hours ago-
to the point of teary-eyes when u think abt it???

yes!!
but i miss him!!
this is what happens when u spend every waking moment with someone for almost 10 years, lmao.

when talking with my mom i'll sometimes summarize the weirder shit im drawing to get a laugh out of her.
my family has always been fairly open when it comes to sex and it being a natural part of life. which im very thankful for.

Yes. All my family knows. If they ask to see my work I show them my sfw profile, but I don't try to hide that I primarily do 18+ stuff. My close family I talk about more specifics if they want to.
Even my grandparents agreed when i shrugged and went "sex sells" while talking about it.

lmao yeah, plus ive seen like "nothing gross" with no explanation- what does that even MEAN lol

There will be people that have harmless kinks you find disgusting that will want to comm you for other stuff. and by being unnecessarily mean about things you dont like you'll push them away!

Therefore. Being yourself is the best way to avoid these kinds of people and their ire.
I've peacefully drawn the weirdest shit for nearing on a decade with almost no pushback. I make what I do clear (CWs in my pinned) and people who hate me for it, block me.
Fine by me!

I've had a theory that people react violently (with callouts, harassment, etc) most often when they feel 'betrayed' by an artist they already liked (particularly, if its been a while!)
Hiding the sort of thing you like and having it discovered later is most likely to cause these reactions, imo.

this type of shit makes me violent

yea ive had it a couple times with artists who dont really offer WIP approval. or the one WIP was way too messy to tell that they drew her wrong.
Or it becomes quickly apparent that they really DONT know how to draw fat bodies and are trying to learn on the job.
so i give up and accept work I hate.

worse is when you ask, they say they can. then they draw your character too thin anyways and its like

oh cool. complete waste of money and now i feel like a disgusting sack of shit too, thanks! :D

What part hurts the most?
One thing that helped me (it was line work) was adjusting the sensitivity so I didn't have to push as hard to get dark lines.
Also, wrist brace!