aim of my life going forward is to get accepted to one of those boat residencies

big relief to emerge from roughly 1.5 years of personal hell and discover that writers i like are still writing

i dont want to give any ammunition to my stalker but long story short my life is going pretty good rn

god. i am so tired

the only thing that helps is to remind myself of the person i want to be in 5 or 10 years, to remain kind to other people and unafraid, to become kinder and more patient and more brave. that is not where i am right now but it is where i'm going

i havent been able to eat lately so ystd a friend gave me a carton of soup. posting about this instead of posting about the insurmountable evil we are all faced with every single day now

joan of arc arc

i rly like the new felicia atkinson makes me wanna go back to my only half joking dungeon synth project

guy im seeing says he ordered oxytocin nasal spray for both of us & $400 worth of body optimization peptides for himself

in ten days i will finally be able to rest. by rest i mean i'll scrub my floors & bathtub & run every morning and then in maine i will smoke an entire pack of cigarettes

as always now things are very dark but my small life is going ok bc i have someone that will occasionally lift me off of the ground & friends who text me from the mountains , “We are hoping for porcinis !!”

if i love somebody i want to see what they look like in a cowboy hat

getting thru heartbreak or grief or depression or loneliness or anger or all of those things kind of combined into a gray mass is mostly a matter of turning the focus away from oneself

in new mexico more than any other place very often the sky will be overcast dark gray blue with the sunlight shining from the opposite direction a golden cast on the trees as though under spotlights. real world looks flat cut & pasted together. i guess this means storms usually come from the east