Lowering the Bar
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Lowering the Bar
@loweringthebar.net.web.brid.gy
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Legal Humor. Seriously. By Kevin Underhill.

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Assorted Stupidity #171
In this edition: are those orange-fronted parakeets in your pants or are you just happy to be crossing the border, and other items of note.
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December 6, 2025 at 7:30 AM
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First Alleged Space Crime … Didn’t Happen
And when it does it won't look like this.
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November 20, 2025 at 7:13 AM
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Jury Deliberates in Sandwich-Assault Case [Update: Not Guilty]
Agent claims sandwich "exploded" on his chest, says he "could smell the onions and the mustard."
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November 7, 2025 at 7:08 AM
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Okay, It Seems to Have Been Pretty Successful
If it happened at all.
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November 1, 2025 at 7:08 AM
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Was That Scuba Burglary a Successful Aquatic Escape?
It remains to be seen ... but maybe.
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October 25, 2025 at 6:49 AM
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Nirvana Beats Former Baby’s Lawsuit (Again)
Please appeal again.
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October 25, 2025 at 6:49 AM
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Lawyers Say Chief Justice “Calm” Despite Flying Shoe
The lawyer who threw the shoe was reportedly suspended before the day was out.
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October 18, 2025 at 6:44 AM
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Court: Complaint That Spends 79 Pages Praising the Client Shall Be Rewritten
Not the "short and plain statement" Rule 8 requires, and also irritating.
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October 7, 2025 at 6:16 AM
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Following Up
In which I note recent developments in cases previously certified as stupid.
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October 7, 2025 at 6:16 AM
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Assorted Stupidity #170
In this edition: "I'm an AG" fails to impress, some shady deals, another thing not to use AI for, and other stuff.
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September 24, 2025 at 5:53 AM
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Can You Get a DUI in a Barbie Jeep? Again, Yes
This may be the only thing that Texas and Canada have in common.
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September 20, 2025 at 5:48 AM
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Yet More Aquatic Escape Attempts
People show no signs of stopping, even though these show no signs of working.
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September 6, 2025 at 5:46 AM
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DUI Lawyer Promises to Swoop in Riding Mighty Eagle
Maybe not literally, but still.
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September 6, 2025 at 5:46 AM
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Alleged Irish Orphan Convicted of Being American Rapist
By a Utah jury, following extradition from Scotland.
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August 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
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In the Ancient Libraries of Ashurbanipal
There was probably at least some writing this bad, but it may have been lost.
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August 27, 2025 at 5:36 AM
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Constitution Deleted
Is somebody practing for the big day?
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August 15, 2025 at 5:38 AM
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Sea-Cucumber Abuser to Be “Moved Far From the Sea for a Long Period of Time”
Sea cucumbers would breathe a sigh of relief, if they had lungs.
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August 15, 2025 at 5:38 AM
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Defendant Recruited Seven Actors to “Testify” in Fraud Trial
"Are you a real lawyer?" one of them asked defense counsel.
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August 2, 2025 at 5:34 AM
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Assorted Stupidity #169
In this edition: pants on fire, complaints about press coverage, a bumbling treason attempt, and somebody wants a measly $1 trillion.
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July 25, 2025 at 5:33 AM
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Justice Harlan on Dirty Movies: “By Jove! Extraordinary!”
Great Odin's Raven!
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July 12, 2025 at 5:33 AM
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Authorities Question Unlicensed Beaver Releases
An "underground network" of unauthorized beaver releasers is at work.
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July 4, 2025 at 5:34 AM
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Man Forced to Concede His Lawyer Is “Not a Real Person”
Not much intelligence was displayed here, artificial or otherwise.
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July 4, 2025 at 5:34 AM
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Drunken Mule-Rider Accused of Assault With Deadly Raccoon
Even in Kentucky the assault charge isn't going to stick.
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June 28, 2025 at 5:32 AM
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Please Do Your Best Not to Appear in the “AI Hallucination Database”
Your clients would also prefer not to be named here.
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June 18, 2025 at 5:32 AM
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Idaho Passes Emergency Truck-Nuts Legislation
It may cover other things too, things that also are not "emergencies."
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June 3, 2025 at 5:28 AM