I've got one Penguin Chonk and one Skinny Grey and those are their breeds and nobody else has them SO THERE.

When your whole image of masculinity is based on the idea of punching, you've gotta realize that one day you're gonna be the punched, over and over again. And it's gonna happen sooner rather than later.

There's also the half that are like, "the Mountain Goats guy is talking about MtG again and that doesn't interest me at all but I'm super happy he and so many others enjoy it so I'll keep my internet mouth shut. Except I'm replying right now."

Better get your dedicated notebook, calculator, and Linear B translation matrix ready.

If this is the case, Spoon is waaaaaay overdue for their Netflix special.

See also
Samsung: We should make an app that helps people control the items in their home.
Dave: Oh yeah? What's it do?
Samsung: Literally nothing at all

I read this because @wolfpupy.bsky.social reposted it.

I can only assume this is about current events and not just a post by a madman so I'm staying away from the news today.

you know what we call software that autonomously installs malware?

Malware.

There is one confident, happy cat

I was gonna go to the store but my "peanut arms" were all like "six-seven" so I decided to "kick back" and listen to some "Vanilla Ice" while "dropping" a "deuce"

P sure I found this planet in No Man's Sky, but it was resource-poor so I effed off

Bring back Mr. Oswalt.