Raz.
@loudandsorry.bsky.social
ᅠᅠᅠᅠᅠplay until your fingers bleed.
𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 | 𝙾𝙲 | 𝟷𝟾+
𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝 | 𝙾𝙲 | 𝟷𝟾+
-- Raz nudged it an inch closer to him with two fingers, a subtle, unconscious gesture.
“You always analyze strangers this closely,” Raz asked, tone neutral again, walls inching back into place, “or am I getting special treatment?”
“You always analyze strangers this closely,” Raz asked, tone neutral again, walls inching back into place, “or am I getting special treatment?”
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
-- Raz nudged it an inch closer to him with two fingers, a subtle, unconscious gesture.
“You always analyze strangers this closely,” Raz asked, tone neutral again, walls inching back into place, “or am I getting special treatment?”
“You always analyze strangers this closely,” Raz asked, tone neutral again, walls inching back into place, “or am I getting special treatment?”
-- hate that.”
He glanced back at Joel then, expression guarded but honest. “So—thanks,” he added, awkwardly clipped, like the word didn’t get much use. “Doesn’t mean it’s your thing. Just means you were paying attention.”
The bartender slid Joel another drink. --
He glanced back at Joel then, expression guarded but honest. “So—thanks,” he added, awkwardly clipped, like the word didn’t get much use. “Doesn’t mean it’s your thing. Just means you were paying attention.”
The bartender slid Joel another drink. --
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
-- hate that.”
He glanced back at Joel then, expression guarded but honest. “So—thanks,” he added, awkwardly clipped, like the word didn’t get much use. “Doesn’t mean it’s your thing. Just means you were paying attention.”
The bartender slid Joel another drink. --
He glanced back at Joel then, expression guarded but honest. “So—thanks,” he added, awkwardly clipped, like the word didn’t get much use. “Doesn’t mean it’s your thing. Just means you were paying attention.”
The bartender slid Joel another drink. --
-- Observant. Uncomfortably accurate.
Raz looked away, eyes drifting back toward the stage as if grounding himself there. “You make it sound like it’s intentional,” he said finally. His voice was lower now, less sharp. “Most nights it just… happens. If I don’t feel it, the songs fall flat. I --
Raz looked away, eyes drifting back toward the stage as if grounding himself there. “You make it sound like it’s intentional,” he said finally. His voice was lower now, less sharp. “Most nights it just… happens. If I don’t feel it, the songs fall flat. I --
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
-- Observant. Uncomfortably accurate.
Raz looked away, eyes drifting back toward the stage as if grounding himself there. “You make it sound like it’s intentional,” he said finally. His voice was lower now, less sharp. “Most nights it just… happens. If I don’t feel it, the songs fall flat. I --
Raz looked away, eyes drifting back toward the stage as if grounding himself there. “You make it sound like it’s intentional,” he said finally. His voice was lower now, less sharp. “Most nights it just… happens. If I don’t feel it, the songs fall flat. I --
-- before he could brace for it.
He didn’t respond right away.
His jaw set, shoulders going a touch rigid, like someone had reached too close to something he kept locked up. Compliments about the band were one thing—generic praise slid off him easy. This wasn’t that. This was specific. --
He didn’t respond right away.
His jaw set, shoulders going a touch rigid, like someone had reached too close to something he kept locked up. Compliments about the band were one thing—generic praise slid off him easy. This wasn’t that. This was specific. --
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
-- before he could brace for it.
He didn’t respond right away.
His jaw set, shoulders going a touch rigid, like someone had reached too close to something he kept locked up. Compliments about the band were one thing—generic praise slid off him easy. This wasn’t that. This was specific. --
He didn’t respond right away.
His jaw set, shoulders going a touch rigid, like someone had reached too close to something he kept locked up. Compliments about the band were one thing—generic praise slid off him easy. This wasn’t that. This was specific. --
Raz hadn’t been ready for that. Not really.
He watched Joel finish the drink with faint disbelief, then shook his head once. “You know you’re allowed to not punish yourself with it, right?” he muttered. “No one’s keeping score.”
Then Joel spoke again—quieter, different—and Raz felt it land --
He watched Joel finish the drink with faint disbelief, then shook his head once. “You know you’re allowed to not punish yourself with it, right?” he muttered. “No one’s keeping score.”
Then Joel spoke again—quieter, different—and Raz felt it land --
December 19, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Raz hadn’t been ready for that. Not really.
He watched Joel finish the drink with faint disbelief, then shook his head once. “You know you’re allowed to not punish yourself with it, right?” he muttered. “No one’s keeping score.”
Then Joel spoke again—quieter, different—and Raz felt it land --
He watched Joel finish the drink with faint disbelief, then shook his head once. “You know you’re allowed to not punish yourself with it, right?” he muttered. “No one’s keeping score.”
Then Joel spoke again—quieter, different—and Raz felt it land --
-- he added, deliberately neutral, “do me a favor and don’t talk to me during the set. I don’t need some relentless mold distracting me while I’m working.”
Then, after a beat, quieter and almost offhand: “After’s fine.”
Then, after a beat, quieter and almost offhand: “After’s fine.”
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
-- he added, deliberately neutral, “do me a favor and don’t talk to me during the set. I don’t need some relentless mold distracting me while I’m working.”
Then, after a beat, quieter and almost offhand: “After’s fine.”
Then, after a beat, quieter and almost offhand: “After’s fine.”
-- heavier than before. “You read our flyers,” he said. Not a question. “And remembered.”
He took another drink, slower this time. “Saturday’s not a confession night,” Raz went on. “It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s people who think they know what they’re listening to.”
A pause.
“If you show up,” --
He took another drink, slower this time. “Saturday’s not a confession night,” Raz went on. “It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s people who think they know what they’re listening to.”
A pause.
“If you show up,” --
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
-- heavier than before. “You read our flyers,” he said. Not a question. “And remembered.”
He took another drink, slower this time. “Saturday’s not a confession night,” Raz went on. “It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s people who think they know what they’re listening to.”
A pause.
“If you show up,” --
He took another drink, slower this time. “Saturday’s not a confession night,” Raz went on. “It’s loud. It’s crowded. It’s people who think they know what they’re listening to.”
A pause.
“If you show up,” --
-- away immediately after, jaw tightening, as if irritated that Joel had managed that much. “Yeah, well. Priests are fragile,” he muttered. “Occupational hazard.”
Then Joel mentioned Saturday. That did it.
Raz turned fully toward him now, eyes sharp—not angry, but assessing in a way that felt
Then Joel mentioned Saturday. That did it.
Raz turned fully toward him now, eyes sharp—not angry, but assessing in a way that felt
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
-- away immediately after, jaw tightening, as if irritated that Joel had managed that much. “Yeah, well. Priests are fragile,” he muttered. “Occupational hazard.”
Then Joel mentioned Saturday. That did it.
Raz turned fully toward him now, eyes sharp—not angry, but assessing in a way that felt
Then Joel mentioned Saturday. That did it.
Raz turned fully toward him now, eyes sharp—not angry, but assessing in a way that felt
-- the bar, bottle resting loosely in his hand. “You make a habit of daring people to get rid of you?” he asked, tone flat. “That’s one way to fill a room. Annoyance counts as presence, I guess.”
At the priest comment, Raz huffed a short laugh through his nose before he could stop it. He looked --
At the priest comment, Raz huffed a short laugh through his nose before he could stop it. He looked --
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
-- the bar, bottle resting loosely in his hand. “You make a habit of daring people to get rid of you?” he asked, tone flat. “That’s one way to fill a room. Annoyance counts as presence, I guess.”
At the priest comment, Raz huffed a short laugh through his nose before he could stop it. He looked --
At the priest comment, Raz huffed a short laugh through his nose before he could stop it. He looked --
Raz’s expression shifted—not dramatically, but enough. One eyebrow lifted. The corner of his mouth twitched, then stilled again, like he’d almost smiled and caught himself doing it.
He didn’t tell Joel to fuck off. That alone probably said more than he wanted it to.
Instead, he leaned against --
He didn’t tell Joel to fuck off. That alone probably said more than he wanted it to.
Instead, he leaned against --
December 19, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Raz’s expression shifted—not dramatically, but enough. One eyebrow lifted. The corner of his mouth twitched, then stilled again, like he’d almost smiled and caught himself doing it.
He didn’t tell Joel to fuck off. That alone probably said more than he wanted it to.
Instead, he leaned against --
He didn’t tell Joel to fuck off. That alone probably said more than he wanted it to.
Instead, he leaned against --
--
“And inevitable, huh?” Raz added, a corner of his mouth curling despite himself. “Careful. That’s how people justify sticking around where they’re not wanted.”
“And inevitable, huh?” Raz added, a corner of his mouth curling despite himself. “Careful. That’s how people justify sticking around where they’re not wanted.”
December 19, 2025 at 6:21 PM
--
“And inevitable, huh?” Raz added, a corner of his mouth curling despite himself. “Careful. That’s how people justify sticking around where they’re not wanted.”
“And inevitable, huh?” Raz added, a corner of his mouth curling despite himself. “Careful. That’s how people justify sticking around where they’re not wanted.”
-- unimpressed. “Convenient schedule. What’s tonight—confession night?”
He tipped his bottle back again, eyes never leaving Joel this time. There was something about the way Joel drank—casual, unbothered—that made Raz itch, like Joel moved through the world assuming it would make space for him.
--
He tipped his bottle back again, eyes never leaving Joel this time. There was something about the way Joel drank—casual, unbothered—that made Raz itch, like Joel moved through the world assuming it would make space for him.
--
December 19, 2025 at 6:21 PM
-- unimpressed. “Convenient schedule. What’s tonight—confession night?”
He tipped his bottle back again, eyes never leaving Joel this time. There was something about the way Joel drank—casual, unbothered—that made Raz itch, like Joel moved through the world assuming it would make space for him.
--
He tipped his bottle back again, eyes never leaving Joel this time. There was something about the way Joel drank—casual, unbothered—that made Raz itch, like Joel moved through the world assuming it would make space for him.
--
-- management.”
His gaze flicked, briefly and unwillingly, to Joel’s hand when he pointed—chrome polish chipped to hell, rings stacked like armor. Raz clocked it and then looked away just as quickly, jaw tightening as if annoyed at himself for noticing.
“Tuesdays and Thursdays," he repeated, --
His gaze flicked, briefly and unwillingly, to Joel’s hand when he pointed—chrome polish chipped to hell, rings stacked like armor. Raz clocked it and then looked away just as quickly, jaw tightening as if annoyed at himself for noticing.
“Tuesdays and Thursdays," he repeated, --
December 19, 2025 at 6:21 PM
-- management.”
His gaze flicked, briefly and unwillingly, to Joel’s hand when he pointed—chrome polish chipped to hell, rings stacked like armor. Raz clocked it and then looked away just as quickly, jaw tightening as if annoyed at himself for noticing.
“Tuesdays and Thursdays," he repeated, --
His gaze flicked, briefly and unwillingly, to Joel’s hand when he pointed—chrome polish chipped to hell, rings stacked like armor. Raz clocked it and then looked away just as quickly, jaw tightening as if annoyed at himself for noticing.
“Tuesdays and Thursdays," he repeated, --
Raz rolled his eyes, but there was no real heat behind it. If anything, Joel seemed to be working his way under his skin in a way that was… annoying. And faintly entertaining.
“I didn’t 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 myself,” he corrected dryly. “I said my name before a song. That’s not the same thing. That’s crowd --
“I didn’t 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 myself,” he corrected dryly. “I said my name before a song. That’s not the same thing. That’s crowd --
December 19, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Raz rolled his eyes, but there was no real heat behind it. If anything, Joel seemed to be working his way under his skin in a way that was… annoying. And faintly entertaining.
“I didn’t 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 myself,” he corrected dryly. “I said my name before a song. That’s not the same thing. That’s crowd --
“I didn’t 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 myself,” he corrected dryly. “I said my name before a song. That’s not the same thing. That’s crowd --
-- expected.
His eyes flicked briefly toward the stage behind them, where his band was still breaking down gear, then back to Joel.
“So,” Raz went on, voice even, “you always wander into dive bars alone and philosophize about bad decisions, or did I catch you on a special night?”
His eyes flicked briefly toward the stage behind them, where his band was still breaking down gear, then back to Joel.
“So,” Raz went on, voice even, “you always wander into dive bars alone and philosophize about bad decisions, or did I catch you on a special night?”
December 19, 2025 at 6:20 AM
-- expected.
His eyes flicked briefly toward the stage behind them, where his band was still breaking down gear, then back to Joel.
“So,” Raz went on, voice even, “you always wander into dive bars alone and philosophize about bad decisions, or did I catch you on a special night?”
His eyes flicked briefly toward the stage behind them, where his band was still breaking down gear, then back to Joel.
“So,” Raz went on, voice even, “you always wander into dive bars alone and philosophize about bad decisions, or did I catch you on a special night?”
-- entirely.”
Still, he turned a little on his stool too, not fully facing Joel but no longer angled away. Close enough to talk without shouting over the bar noise. Close enough to be intentional.
“Raz,” he added after a beat, like it hadn’t occurred to him until now that introductions were --
Still, he turned a little on his stool too, not fully facing Joel but no longer angled away. Close enough to talk without shouting over the bar noise. Close enough to be intentional.
“Raz,” he added after a beat, like it hadn’t occurred to him until now that introductions were --
December 19, 2025 at 6:20 AM
-- entirely.”
Still, he turned a little on his stool too, not fully facing Joel but no longer angled away. Close enough to talk without shouting over the bar noise. Close enough to be intentional.
“Raz,” he added after a beat, like it hadn’t occurred to him until now that introductions were --
Still, he turned a little on his stool too, not fully facing Joel but no longer angled away. Close enough to talk without shouting over the bar noise. Close enough to be intentional.
“Raz,” he added after a beat, like it hadn’t occurred to him until now that introductions were --
Raz snorted quietly at that, shaking his head once as if Joel had confirmed something he’d already suspected. He didn’t immediately offer his name—just took another pull from his beer and watched the condensation slide down the bottle.
“Mold usually gets scraped off,” he said. “Or tossed out --
“Mold usually gets scraped off,” he said. “Or tossed out --
December 19, 2025 at 6:20 AM
Raz snorted quietly at that, shaking his head once as if Joel had confirmed something he’d already suspected. He didn’t immediately offer his name—just took another pull from his beer and watched the condensation slide down the bottle.
“Mold usually gets scraped off,” he said. “Or tossed out --
“Mold usually gets scraped off,” he said. “Or tossed out --
-- compliment. Just an observation.”
The corner of his mouth twitched despite himself, irritation threaded with something like reluctant amusement.
The corner of his mouth twitched despite himself, irritation threaded with something like reluctant amusement.
December 19, 2025 at 12:25 AM
-- compliment. Just an observation.”
The corner of his mouth twitched despite himself, irritation threaded with something like reluctant amusement.
The corner of his mouth twitched despite himself, irritation threaded with something like reluctant amusement.
-- gaze swept Joel over in a quick, assessing way—not lingering, not warm. Just taking inventory.
“You don’t strike me as someone who 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 to sound cool,” Raz went on. “More like someone who says whatever comes into his head and lets other people deal with it.” A pause. “Which isn’t a --
“You don’t strike me as someone who 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 to sound cool,” Raz went on. “More like someone who says whatever comes into his head and lets other people deal with it.” A pause. “Which isn’t a --
December 19, 2025 at 12:25 AM
-- gaze swept Joel over in a quick, assessing way—not lingering, not warm. Just taking inventory.
“You don’t strike me as someone who 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 to sound cool,” Raz went on. “More like someone who says whatever comes into his head and lets other people deal with it.” A pause. “Which isn’t a --
“You don’t strike me as someone who 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 to sound cool,” Raz went on. “More like someone who says whatever comes into his head and lets other people deal with it.” A pause. “Which isn’t a --
Raz blinked at that, just once.
Then he scoffed, turning his head away as if Joel had said something ridiculous enough not to deserve eye contact. “Yeah, no,” he said flatly. “That’s not how that works.”
He took another drink, longer this time, buying himself a second before looking back. His
Then he scoffed, turning his head away as if Joel had said something ridiculous enough not to deserve eye contact. “Yeah, no,” he said flatly. “That’s not how that works.”
He took another drink, longer this time, buying himself a second before looking back. His
December 19, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Raz blinked at that, just once.
Then he scoffed, turning his head away as if Joel had said something ridiculous enough not to deserve eye contact. “Yeah, no,” he said flatly. “That’s not how that works.”
He took another drink, longer this time, buying himself a second before looking back. His
Then he scoffed, turning his head away as if Joel had said something ridiculous enough not to deserve eye contact. “Yeah, no,” he said flatly. “That’s not how that works.”
He took another drink, longer this time, buying himself a second before looking back. His
-- enough times to believe it.”
Raz shifted on the barstool, turning a fraction more toward Joel but keeping his shoulders tight, like he wasn’t fully committing to the interaction yet. “You come up with that on the walk over,” he added, “or is that just how you talk?”
Raz shifted on the barstool, turning a fraction more toward Joel but keeping his shoulders tight, like he wasn’t fully committing to the interaction yet. “You come up with that on the walk over,” he added, “or is that just how you talk?”
December 18, 2025 at 11:12 PM
-- enough times to believe it.”
Raz shifted on the barstool, turning a fraction more toward Joel but keeping his shoulders tight, like he wasn’t fully committing to the interaction yet. “You come up with that on the walk over,” he added, “or is that just how you talk?”
Raz shifted on the barstool, turning a fraction more toward Joel but keeping his shoulders tight, like he wasn’t fully committing to the interaction yet. “You come up with that on the walk over,” he added, “or is that just how you talk?”
-- response, barely raising it an inch.
“To mistakes,” he echoed dryly.
He took a pull from the bottle, eyes still on Joel over the rim. When he lowered it, his mouth twisted slightly, not quite a smile. “That line sounded practiced,” he said. “Either you say it a lot, or you’ve lived it --
“To mistakes,” he echoed dryly.
He took a pull from the bottle, eyes still on Joel over the rim. When he lowered it, his mouth twisted slightly, not quite a smile. “That line sounded practiced,” he said. “Either you say it a lot, or you’ve lived it --
December 18, 2025 at 11:12 PM
-- response, barely raising it an inch.
“To mistakes,” he echoed dryly.
He took a pull from the bottle, eyes still on Joel over the rim. When he lowered it, his mouth twisted slightly, not quite a smile. “That line sounded practiced,” he said. “Either you say it a lot, or you’ve lived it --
“To mistakes,” he echoed dryly.
He took a pull from the bottle, eyes still on Joel over the rim. When he lowered it, his mouth twisted slightly, not quite a smile. “That line sounded practiced,” he said. “Either you say it a lot, or you’ve lived it --
Raz snorted softly despite himself, the sound brief and unguarded before he could stop it.
He watched Joel take the drink like it didn’t bother him, noted the lack of a wince, the ease of it. That earned him another look—sharper this time, a little curious, a little wary. Raz lifted his beer in --
He watched Joel take the drink like it didn’t bother him, noted the lack of a wince, the ease of it. That earned him another look—sharper this time, a little curious, a little wary. Raz lifted his beer in --
December 18, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Raz snorted softly despite himself, the sound brief and unguarded before he could stop it.
He watched Joel take the drink like it didn’t bother him, noted the lack of a wince, the ease of it. That earned him another look—sharper this time, a little curious, a little wary. Raz lifted his beer in --
He watched Joel take the drink like it didn’t bother him, noted the lack of a wince, the ease of it. That earned him another look—sharper this time, a little curious, a little wary. Raz lifted his beer in --