Kyle Lowkey
@lorfb.bsky.social
A parody breaking news account for the Locked on Raptors fantasy league.
No big news this week. Everyone stayed pretty much steady in their position.
Serge and Center of Attention have been taking bites out of Scottie’s lead over the last two weeks we might even see a new leader week.
Serge and Center of Attention have been taking bites out of Scottie’s lead over the last two weeks we might even see a new leader week.
February 2, 2026 at 11:24 AM
No big news this week. Everyone stayed pretty much steady in their position.
Serge and Center of Attention have been taking bites out of Scottie’s lead over the last two weeks we might even see a new leader week.
Serge and Center of Attention have been taking bites out of Scottie’s lead over the last two weeks we might even see a new leader week.
🚨🚨🚨🚨TRADE ALERT🚨🚨🚨🚨
As rumoured Dyson Daniel’s is taking his talents to Big Green Grady.
In exchange for Miles Turner is getting the grill ready to join BBQ Raps
As rumoured Dyson Daniel’s is taking his talents to Big Green Grady.
In exchange for Miles Turner is getting the grill ready to join BBQ Raps
January 27, 2026 at 7:09 PM
🚨🚨🚨🚨TRADE ALERT🚨🚨🚨🚨
As rumoured Dyson Daniel’s is taking his talents to Big Green Grady.
In exchange for Miles Turner is getting the grill ready to join BBQ Raps
As rumoured Dyson Daniel’s is taking his talents to Big Green Grady.
In exchange for Miles Turner is getting the grill ready to join BBQ Raps
Hearing news of a big trade brewing. Better keep and eye out.
a woman holds a dyson vacuum cleaner in front of a box that says samsung
ALT: a woman holds a dyson vacuum cleaner in front of a box that says samsung
media.tenor.com
January 27, 2026 at 9:28 AM
Hearing news of a big trade brewing. Better keep and eye out.
Big win at the top with Serges Six Foot Scarf suffocating the top seeded ScottyNoShotty.
Pretty damn close week for everyone else with the only blowout being our very own @woodleysean.bsky.social losing 8-1 to the up and coming Masai Forever
Pretty damn close week for everyone else with the only blowout being our very own @woodleysean.bsky.social losing 8-1 to the up and coming Masai Forever
January 26, 2026 at 1:49 PM
Big win at the top with Serges Six Foot Scarf suffocating the top seeded ScottyNoShotty.
Pretty damn close week for everyone else with the only blowout being our very own @woodleysean.bsky.social losing 8-1 to the up and coming Masai Forever
Pretty damn close week for everyone else with the only blowout being our very own @woodleysean.bsky.social losing 8-1 to the up and coming Masai Forever
Injuries are piling up throughout the league. We’re in the trenches now people.
If you can avoid trench foot you might just get yourself a 6-3.
Shock of the week: last place beat 4th place 7-2
With the league being close as it is in the playoff positions we might end up with some shocking drops
If you can avoid trench foot you might just get yourself a 6-3.
Shock of the week: last place beat 4th place 7-2
With the league being close as it is in the playoff positions we might end up with some shocking drops
January 19, 2026 at 11:11 AM
Injuries are piling up throughout the league. We’re in the trenches now people.
If you can avoid trench foot you might just get yourself a 6-3.
Shock of the week: last place beat 4th place 7-2
With the league being close as it is in the playoff positions we might end up with some shocking drops
If you can avoid trench foot you might just get yourself a 6-3.
Shock of the week: last place beat 4th place 7-2
With the league being close as it is in the playoff positions we might end up with some shocking drops
Not too much movement at the top of the table this week.
We do have a new 8th seed though congrats to BBQ Raps. 7 weeks to go until playoffs if you want to make the big moves you better make them sooner rather than later.
With a major injury to the Giddy Committee will we see some more movement?
We do have a new 8th seed though congrats to BBQ Raps. 7 weeks to go until playoffs if you want to make the big moves you better make them sooner rather than later.
With a major injury to the Giddy Committee will we see some more movement?
January 12, 2026 at 9:44 AM
Not too much movement at the top of the table this week.
We do have a new 8th seed though congrats to BBQ Raps. 7 weeks to go until playoffs if you want to make the big moves you better make them sooner rather than later.
With a major injury to the Giddy Committee will we see some more movement?
We do have a new 8th seed though congrats to BBQ Raps. 7 weeks to go until playoffs if you want to make the big moves you better make them sooner rather than later.
With a major injury to the Giddy Committee will we see some more movement?
Outside the top spots the fight for the remaining playoff spots is looking just as close. Just 1.5 categories between the 8th and 11th seed.
Anyone can seemingly take a week off anyone.
With the 8th seeded MasaiForever and 9th seeded SuperRaps taking wins over top 6 teams.
Anyone can seemingly take a week off anyone.
With the 8th seeded MasaiForever and 9th seeded SuperRaps taking wins over top 6 teams.
January 5, 2026 at 12:40 PM
Outside the top spots the fight for the remaining playoff spots is looking just as close. Just 1.5 categories between the 8th and 11th seed.
Anyone can seemingly take a week off anyone.
With the 8th seeded MasaiForever and 9th seeded SuperRaps taking wins over top 6 teams.
Anyone can seemingly take a week off anyone.
With the 8th seeded MasaiForever and 9th seeded SuperRaps taking wins over top 6 teams.
Another week an no new leader this week.
ScottyNoShotty actually extends their lead with an 8-1 win to follow up their prior 9-0
Heavy is the crown though the rest of the top 4 also had 6+ category wins. One bad week is still the difference inside the top 6 though.
ScottyNoShotty actually extends their lead with an 8-1 win to follow up their prior 9-0
Heavy is the crown though the rest of the top 4 also had 6+ category wins. One bad week is still the difference inside the top 6 though.
January 5, 2026 at 12:36 PM
Another week an no new leader this week.
ScottyNoShotty actually extends their lead with an 8-1 win to follow up their prior 9-0
Heavy is the crown though the rest of the top 4 also had 6+ category wins. One bad week is still the difference inside the top 6 though.
ScottyNoShotty actually extends their lead with an 8-1 win to follow up their prior 9-0
Heavy is the crown though the rest of the top 4 also had 6+ category wins. One bad week is still the difference inside the top 6 though.
The IQ boys take a spot back at the top of the leaderboard with consistent solid weeks.
Big Green Grady caught a Big Green Dick from Scotty No Shotty sending them out of the top 3 down to number 7 and propelling Scotty into the number 2 spot.
In other news @woodleysean.bsky.social won a week!!!
Big Green Grady caught a Big Green Dick from Scotty No Shotty sending them out of the top 3 down to number 7 and propelling Scotty into the number 2 spot.
In other news @woodleysean.bsky.social won a week!!!
December 29, 2025 at 10:22 PM
The IQ boys take a spot back at the top of the leaderboard with consistent solid weeks.
Big Green Grady caught a Big Green Dick from Scotty No Shotty sending them out of the top 3 down to number 7 and propelling Scotty into the number 2 spot.
In other news @woodleysean.bsky.social won a week!!!
Big Green Grady caught a Big Green Dick from Scotty No Shotty sending them out of the top 3 down to number 7 and propelling Scotty into the number 2 spot.
In other news @woodleysean.bsky.social won a week!!!
And just like that The Giddey Committee jumps up to first. The top 6 are still only 2 category wins behind.
Let’s see if we get another leader next week.
Let’s see if we get another leader next week.
December 22, 2025 at 11:38 AM
And just like that The Giddey Committee jumps up to first. The top 6 are still only 2 category wins behind.
Let’s see if we get another leader next week.
Let’s see if we get another leader next week.
New leader alert.
Serges Six Foot Scarf leapfrogs the IQ boys.
After a very weird week everything is somehow EVEN CLOSER at the top of the standings. Tune in next week for another league leader.
Serges Six Foot Scarf leapfrogs the IQ boys.
After a very weird week everything is somehow EVEN CLOSER at the top of the standings. Tune in next week for another league leader.
December 15, 2025 at 10:15 AM
New leader alert.
Serges Six Foot Scarf leapfrogs the IQ boys.
After a very weird week everything is somehow EVEN CLOSER at the top of the standings. Tune in next week for another league leader.
Serges Six Foot Scarf leapfrogs the IQ boys.
After a very weird week everything is somehow EVEN CLOSER at the top of the standings. Tune in next week for another league leader.
We have a new king in town. The IQ boys have taken the top step from Center of Attention after a 7-2 week.
It was big results across the board at the top of the table with 5 of our top teams taking wins by at least 7 categories.
There is gonna be an all out brawl for the first seed this season.
It was big results across the board at the top of the table with 5 of our top teams taking wins by at least 7 categories.
There is gonna be an all out brawl for the first seed this season.
December 8, 2025 at 11:30 AM
We have a new king in town. The IQ boys have taken the top step from Center of Attention after a 7-2 week.
It was big results across the board at the top of the table with 5 of our top teams taking wins by at least 7 categories.
There is gonna be an all out brawl for the first seed this season.
It was big results across the board at the top of the table with 5 of our top teams taking wins by at least 7 categories.
There is gonna be an all out brawl for the first seed this season.
With Center of Attention taking a big L this week. The top of the standings have to give a massive pat on the back to BBQ Raps.
Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen. With both top teams playing bottom 10 rosters we could have a fight for the top step this week!
Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen. With both top teams playing bottom 10 rosters we could have a fight for the top step this week!
December 1, 2025 at 12:57 PM
With Center of Attention taking a big L this week. The top of the standings have to give a massive pat on the back to BBQ Raps.
Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen. With both top teams playing bottom 10 rosters we could have a fight for the top step this week!
Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen. With both top teams playing bottom 10 rosters we could have a fight for the top step this week!
Jalen Williams is back. It’s time for Big Green Grady to become the Center Of Attention
a woman is holding a pitcher of lemonade in front of a man and a woman with #thegoodplace written in the corner
ALT: a woman is holding a pitcher of lemonade in front of a man and a woman with #thegoodplace written in the corner
media.tenor.com
November 28, 2025 at 7:30 AM
Jalen Williams is back. It’s time for Big Green Grady to become the Center Of Attention
The rich get richer in the LOR Fantasy League
November 25, 2025 at 4:52 PM
The rich get richer in the LOR Fantasy League
Another week under the reign of Center of Attention. The gap closed a little this week thanks to a valiant effort by Scotty No Shotty.
Elsewhere in the league the man with a very long scarf comes away with the biggest margin of victory with an 8-1 win slingshotting their team up to 5th.
Elsewhere in the league the man with a very long scarf comes away with the biggest margin of victory with an 8-1 win slingshotting their team up to 5th.
November 24, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Another week under the reign of Center of Attention. The gap closed a little this week thanks to a valiant effort by Scotty No Shotty.
Elsewhere in the league the man with a very long scarf comes away with the biggest margin of victory with an 8-1 win slingshotting their team up to 5th.
Elsewhere in the league the man with a very long scarf comes away with the biggest margin of victory with an 8-1 win slingshotting their team up to 5th.
Rumour has it that Kwaz after entering his full heel turn after the Bridges trade. He announced in a private meeting that if his reign continues that next year’s league will be $5k CA buy-in.
Entry will be MANDATORY for all current members of the league. 😱
Read the fine print next time people.
Entry will be MANDATORY for all current members of the league. 😱
Read the fine print next time people.
November 18, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Rumour has it that Kwaz after entering his full heel turn after the Bridges trade. He announced in a private meeting that if his reign continues that next year’s league will be $5k CA buy-in.
Entry will be MANDATORY for all current members of the league. 😱
Read the fine print next time people.
Entry will be MANDATORY for all current members of the league. 😱
Read the fine print next time people.
Centre of Attention with the first 9-0 of the season. Will the chef continue to cook the league or will the team start to smell burnt toast? Stay tuned.
a man wearing a red hat and a white shirt says " that 's money "
ALT: a man wearing a red hat and a white shirt says " that 's money "
media.tenor.com
November 17, 2025 at 9:23 AM
Centre of Attention with the first 9-0 of the season. Will the chef continue to cook the league or will the team start to smell burnt toast? Stay tuned.
The team sheets so Red man it look like burning palm trees - Jonas Brothers, Cool
November 15, 2025 at 8:27 PM
The team sheets so Red man it look like burning palm trees - Jonas Brothers, Cool
Calls himself a chef. I call him 1st place in the league.
November 14, 2025 at 5:02 PM
Calls himself a chef. I call him 1st place in the league.
Only one 5-4 result this week.
Big movement on the leaderboard.
Big movement on the leaderboard.
November 10, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Only one 5-4 result this week.
Big movement on the leaderboard.
Big movement on the leaderboard.
Oh my god it happened.
Ryan Rollins for Miles Bridges.
Kwaz has committed to the most unlikeable roster.
Ryan Rollins for Miles Bridges.
Kwaz has committed to the most unlikeable roster.
November 7, 2025 at 1:29 PM
Oh my god it happened.
Ryan Rollins for Miles Bridges.
Kwaz has committed to the most unlikeable roster.
Ryan Rollins for Miles Bridges.
Kwaz has committed to the most unlikeable roster.
According to my inside sources, Team Aspiration is actively fielding offers for star Lakers guard Austin Reaves.
Despite 28 points and a game-winner against Minnesota last night, reports suggest Aspiration CEO neek OH remains uncomfortable with Reaves' alleged previous connection to Taylor Swift.
Despite 28 points and a game-winner against Minnesota last night, reports suggest Aspiration CEO neek OH remains uncomfortable with Reaves' alleged previous connection to Taylor Swift.
a woman in a blue dress is saying " well ... ok then "
ALT: a woman in a blue dress is saying " well ... ok then "
media.tenor.com
October 30, 2025 at 6:45 PM
According to my inside sources, Team Aspiration is actively fielding offers for star Lakers guard Austin Reaves.
Despite 28 points and a game-winner against Minnesota last night, reports suggest Aspiration CEO neek OH remains uncomfortable with Reaves' alleged previous connection to Taylor Swift.
Despite 28 points and a game-winner against Minnesota last night, reports suggest Aspiration CEO neek OH remains uncomfortable with Reaves' alleged previous connection to Taylor Swift.
After our first week of fantasy hoops we don’t have any crazy results. A few 6-3s but no one has been dumped on.
This could be a wild season. Stay tuned.
This could be a wild season. Stay tuned.
October 27, 2025 at 9:35 AM
After our first week of fantasy hoops we don’t have any crazy results. A few 6-3s but no one has been dumped on.
This could be a wild season. Stay tuned.
This could be a wild season. Stay tuned.
🚨🚨🚨 Trade incoming 🚨🚨🚨
Big Green Grady gains a great all rounder in Mikal Bridges. While Masai forever gains a starting centre in Rudy Gobert.
Big Green Grady gains a great all rounder in Mikal Bridges. While Masai forever gains a starting centre in Rudy Gobert.
October 20, 2025 at 9:50 PM
🚨🚨🚨 Trade incoming 🚨🚨🚨
Big Green Grady gains a great all rounder in Mikal Bridges. While Masai forever gains a starting centre in Rudy Gobert.
Big Green Grady gains a great all rounder in Mikal Bridges. While Masai forever gains a starting centre in Rudy Gobert.