Noct
@lordnocturne.bsky.social
| they/them | 21yo | lost in Soap/Ghost spiral🧼💀| mdni & ai users dni | free 🍉|
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordNocturne
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordNocturne
Ghost doesn’t move him. Doesn’t try to fix it. He just stays, arms heavy and warm around him, silence thick with trust and waiting.
“Ye sure?” Soap whispers.
Ghost’s hand moves from knee to shoulder, steadying him.
“Always”
end/
“Ye sure?” Soap whispers.
Ghost’s hand moves from knee to shoulder, steadying him.
“Always”
end/
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost doesn’t move him. Doesn’t try to fix it. He just stays, arms heavy and warm around him, silence thick with trust and waiting.
“Ye sure?” Soap whispers.
Ghost’s hand moves from knee to shoulder, steadying him.
“Always”
end/
“Ye sure?” Soap whispers.
Ghost’s hand moves from knee to shoulder, steadying him.
“Always”
end/
But the memory warms his chest, sharp and soft all at once. “You’re safe,” Ghost murmurs, voice dropping. “With me”.
Soap leans in, forehead against Ghost’s chest, trembling in tiny bursts, breath catching like he’s holding the whole world between his ribs.
Soap leans in, forehead against Ghost’s chest, trembling in tiny bursts, breath catching like he’s holding the whole world between his ribs.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
But the memory warms his chest, sharp and soft all at once. “You’re safe,” Ghost murmurs, voice dropping. “With me”.
Soap leans in, forehead against Ghost’s chest, trembling in tiny bursts, breath catching like he’s holding the whole world between his ribs.
Soap leans in, forehead against Ghost’s chest, trembling in tiny bursts, breath catching like he’s holding the whole world between his ribs.
The cramped stall, the way Johnny pulled him in with both hands, the way his mouth felt desperate and eager, the way Simon lost himself for one reckless moment. He hadn’t known that night could lead here.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
The cramped stall, the way Johnny pulled him in with both hands, the way his mouth felt desperate and eager, the way Simon lost himself for one reckless moment. He hadn’t known that night could lead here.
And then the memory hits him-
That night after the mission, the pub thick with smoke and spilled beer and Johnny smelling like something sweeter. Those bright hungry eyes. Those impatient little sounds he couldn’t hide.
That night after the mission, the pub thick with smoke and spilled beer and Johnny smelling like something sweeter. Those bright hungry eyes. Those impatient little sounds he couldn’t hide.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
And then the memory hits him-
That night after the mission, the pub thick with smoke and spilled beer and Johnny smelling like something sweeter. Those bright hungry eyes. Those impatient little sounds he couldn’t hide.
That night after the mission, the pub thick with smoke and spilled beer and Johnny smelling like something sweeter. Those bright hungry eyes. Those impatient little sounds he couldn’t hide.
“Ye don’t hate me?” Johnny whispers.
Ghost tilts his head. "No."
Just that. Soap breathes again, shoulders sinking, relief trembling through him like a small earthquake. Ghost shifts a little closer, brushing his thumb against Soap’s knuckles, offering contact instead of words.
Ghost tilts his head. "No."
Just that. Soap breathes again, shoulders sinking, relief trembling through him like a small earthquake. Ghost shifts a little closer, brushing his thumb against Soap’s knuckles, offering contact instead of words.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
“Ye don’t hate me?” Johnny whispers.
Ghost tilts his head. "No."
Just that. Soap breathes again, shoulders sinking, relief trembling through him like a small earthquake. Ghost shifts a little closer, brushing his thumb against Soap’s knuckles, offering contact instead of words.
Ghost tilts his head. "No."
Just that. Soap breathes again, shoulders sinking, relief trembling through him like a small earthquake. Ghost shifts a little closer, brushing his thumb against Soap’s knuckles, offering contact instead of words.
Ghost reaches out, slow and deliberate, his hand settling on Soap’s knee.
Johnny flinches, then melts. He keeps fidgeting with the hoodie, fingers twisting deeper into the fabric, legs bouncing in tiny frantic motions Ghost pretends not to notice.
Johnny flinches, then melts. He keeps fidgeting with the hoodie, fingers twisting deeper into the fabric, legs bouncing in tiny frantic motions Ghost pretends not to notice.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost reaches out, slow and deliberate, his hand settling on Soap’s knee.
Johnny flinches, then melts. He keeps fidgeting with the hoodie, fingers twisting deeper into the fabric, legs bouncing in tiny frantic motions Ghost pretends not to notice.
Johnny flinches, then melts. He keeps fidgeting with the hoodie, fingers twisting deeper into the fabric, legs bouncing in tiny frantic motions Ghost pretends not to notice.
Just watching him, really watching, taking in the fear he shouldn’t be feeling, the shame he didn’t earn, the thousand what-ifs strangling him.
Soap’s voice cracks. “I didnae mean tae, it just… happened.”
A thin, broken laugh escapes him and he looks like he might fold in on himself.
Soap’s voice cracks. “I didnae mean tae, it just… happened.”
A thin, broken laugh escapes him and he looks like he might fold in on himself.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Just watching him, really watching, taking in the fear he shouldn’t be feeling, the shame he didn’t earn, the thousand what-ifs strangling him.
Soap’s voice cracks. “I didnae mean tae, it just… happened.”
A thin, broken laugh escapes him and he looks like he might fold in on himself.
Soap’s voice cracks. “I didnae mean tae, it just… happened.”
A thin, broken laugh escapes him and he looks like he might fold in on himself.
The words come out like they’re fragile enough to break if they hit the air too hard. His whole body goes still except his hands, which shake harder now. Ghost doesn’t react the way Soap braced for. No shock. No anger.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
The words come out like they’re fragile enough to break if they hit the air too hard. His whole body goes still except his hands, which shake harder now. Ghost doesn’t react the way Soap braced for. No shock. No anger.
“There’s somethin’ I need tae tell ye”. His accent gets thicker, fear curling into every syllable.
He can’t look up. Eyes fixed on his lap, breath shallow, uneven. Ghost turns slowly, careful, like approaching a frightened pup
Soap’s lips tremble when he tries to take in air. “M’pregnant.”
He can’t look up. Eyes fixed on his lap, breath shallow, uneven. Ghost turns slowly, careful, like approaching a frightened pup
Soap’s lips tremble when he tries to take in air. “M’pregnant.”
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
“There’s somethin’ I need tae tell ye”. His accent gets thicker, fear curling into every syllable.
He can’t look up. Eyes fixed on his lap, breath shallow, uneven. Ghost turns slowly, careful, like approaching a frightened pup
Soap’s lips tremble when he tries to take in air. “M’pregnant.”
He can’t look up. Eyes fixed on his lap, breath shallow, uneven. Ghost turns slowly, careful, like approaching a frightened pup
Soap’s lips tremble when he tries to take in air. “M’pregnant.”
Ghost answers immediately.
“Yeah?” The sound lets Soap breathe but it also makes him tremble.
He drags Ghost’s hoodie tighter around himself, sleeves hiding everything except the tips of his fingers twisting and twisting.
“Yeah?” The sound lets Soap breathe but it also makes him tremble.
He drags Ghost’s hoodie tighter around himself, sleeves hiding everything except the tips of his fingers twisting and twisting.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost answers immediately.
“Yeah?” The sound lets Soap breathe but it also makes him tremble.
He drags Ghost’s hoodie tighter around himself, sleeves hiding everything except the tips of his fingers twisting and twisting.
“Yeah?” The sound lets Soap breathe but it also makes him tremble.
He drags Ghost’s hoodie tighter around himself, sleeves hiding everything except the tips of his fingers twisting and twisting.
He swallows, loud in the quiet. He opens his mouth once, twice, no words coming out, breath snagging on fear. Ghost doesn’t push him.
He just stays there, warm and patient, steady in a way that pulls the panic right out of Soap’s spine
Finally Johnny whispers, “Si?”
He just stays there, warm and patient, steady in a way that pulls the panic right out of Soap’s spine
Finally Johnny whispers, “Si?”
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
He swallows, loud in the quiet. He opens his mouth once, twice, no words coming out, breath snagging on fear. Ghost doesn’t push him.
He just stays there, warm and patient, steady in a way that pulls the panic right out of Soap’s spine
Finally Johnny whispers, “Si?”
He just stays there, warm and patient, steady in a way that pulls the panic right out of Soap’s spine
Finally Johnny whispers, “Si?”
He glances up, wide-eyed and skittish, like he’s waiting for permission he isn’t sure he deserves. That’s all it takes for him to inch closer again, shoulder brushing Ghost’s arm.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
He glances up, wide-eyed and skittish, like he’s waiting for permission he isn’t sure he deserves. That’s all it takes for him to inch closer again, shoulder brushing Ghost’s arm.
"Johnny,” Ghost says, softer than the light. Soap freezes. "Sit proper,” he adds, not unkind, just steady. Soap shifts, folding his legs under himself, trying for composure but his hands betray him, twitching in the thick sleeves of Ghost’s hoodie.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
"Johnny,” Ghost says, softer than the light. Soap freezes. "Sit proper,” he adds, not unkind, just steady. Soap shifts, folding his legs under himself, trying for composure but his hands betray him, twitching in the thick sleeves of Ghost’s hoodie.
His legs bounce a little, barely noticeable unless you know where to look, and Ghost always knows.
The heater hums softly, Soap’s breathing uneven and thin in the quiet. He keeps tugging at the sleeve of Ghost’s hoodie, grounding himself without realizing, trying to pull courage through the touch.
The heater hums softly, Soap’s breathing uneven and thin in the quiet. He keeps tugging at the sleeve of Ghost’s hoodie, grounding himself without realizing, trying to pull courage through the touch.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
His legs bounce a little, barely noticeable unless you know where to look, and Ghost always knows.
The heater hums softly, Soap’s breathing uneven and thin in the quiet. He keeps tugging at the sleeve of Ghost’s hoodie, grounding himself without realizing, trying to pull courage through the touch.
The heater hums softly, Soap’s breathing uneven and thin in the quiet. He keeps tugging at the sleeve of Ghost’s hoodie, grounding himself without realizing, trying to pull courage through the touch.
Ghost sits beside him fully, their shoulders brushing, warm fabric against warm skin.
Johnny leans a little closer, breath catching like the room finally allowed him to stop pretending he’s fine. "Didnae wanna sleep yet", he whispers, "wanted tae see you first."
Johnny leans a little closer, breath catching like the room finally allowed him to stop pretending he’s fine. "Didnae wanna sleep yet", he whispers, "wanted tae see you first."
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost sits beside him fully, their shoulders brushing, warm fabric against warm skin.
Johnny leans a little closer, breath catching like the room finally allowed him to stop pretending he’s fine. "Didnae wanna sleep yet", he whispers, "wanted tae see you first."
Johnny leans a little closer, breath catching like the room finally allowed him to stop pretending he’s fine. "Didnae wanna sleep yet", he whispers, "wanted tae see you first."
The clenched jaw he’s trying to hide, the restless fingers hooked in the blanket like he’s afraid to let go.
“Ye cold?” Ghost asks.
Soap shakes his head too fast
"No, jus’ tired", But it’s the kind of tired that has nothing to do with sleep.
“Ye cold?” Ghost asks.
Soap shakes his head too fast
"No, jus’ tired", But it’s the kind of tired that has nothing to do with sleep.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
The clenched jaw he’s trying to hide, the restless fingers hooked in the blanket like he’s afraid to let go.
“Ye cold?” Ghost asks.
Soap shakes his head too fast
"No, jus’ tired", But it’s the kind of tired that has nothing to do with sleep.
“Ye cold?” Ghost asks.
Soap shakes his head too fast
"No, jus’ tired", But it’s the kind of tired that has nothing to do with sleep.
Ghost nods, careful with the sound of his gear hitting the floor, and Soap’s shoulders drop a little like he can finally breathe again. He shifts across the mattress, slow but drawn as if pulled by something he can’t fight, and when his knee bumps Ghost’s leg he freezes for a moment.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost nods, careful with the sound of his gear hitting the floor, and Soap’s shoulders drop a little like he can finally breathe again. He shifts across the mattress, slow but drawn as if pulled by something he can’t fight, and when his knee bumps Ghost’s leg he freezes for a moment.
Ghost closes the door quietly and Soap tracks every movement, the way a pup watches familiar boots to make sure they match the scent.
His fingers twist the blanket under him, restless, clinging.
"Ye’re back," Soap murmurs.
His fingers twist the blanket under him, restless, clinging.
"Ye’re back," Soap murmurs.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
Ghost closes the door quietly and Soap tracks every movement, the way a pup watches familiar boots to make sure they match the scent.
His fingers twist the blanket under him, restless, clinging.
"Ye’re back," Soap murmurs.
His fingers twist the blanket under him, restless, clinging.
"Ye’re back," Soap murmurs.
He lifts his head the moment the door opens and the relief in his face is so sudden, so unguarded, it knocks a breath out of Ghost. He doesn’t speak, just watches him with wide, tired eyes like he genuinely feared Ghost wouldn’t return.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
He lifts his head the moment the door opens and the relief in his face is so sudden, so unguarded, it knocks a breath out of Ghost. He doesn’t speak, just watches him with wide, tired eyes like he genuinely feared Ghost wouldn’t return.
holding the faint restless scent of someone who waited too long. Someone’s here. Someone waited for him.
Soap sits at the end of Ghost’s bed, damp hair clinging to his temple, shoulders pulled tight like he tried to fold himself smaller while waiting.
Soap sits at the end of Ghost’s bed, damp hair clinging to his temple, shoulders pulled tight like he tried to fold himself smaller while waiting.
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
holding the faint restless scent of someone who waited too long. Someone’s here. Someone waited for him.
Soap sits at the end of Ghost’s bed, damp hair clinging to his temple, shoulders pulled tight like he tried to fold himself smaller while waiting.
Soap sits at the end of Ghost’s bed, damp hair clinging to his temple, shoulders pulled tight like he tried to fold himself smaller while waiting.
the halls so quiet his footsteps carry down the corridor like they’re announcing him. He expects the usual silence in his room, that empty stillness that settles after missions, but the air is different tonight, warmer, lived-in,
November 14, 2025 at 5:04 PM
the halls so quiet his footsteps carry down the corridor like they’re announcing him. He expects the usual silence in his room, that empty stillness that settles after missions, but the air is different tonight, warmer, lived-in,