I hope Biden does a one man show on broadway.
February 4, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I hope Biden does a one man show on broadway.
No, I can’t dance unless it’s slow or sad to a song that’s far less obvious.
February 3, 2025 at 10:29 PM
No, I can’t dance unless it’s slow or sad to a song that’s far less obvious.
Gonna cash out my 401k and buy gold and potato cannons.
January 28, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Gonna cash out my 401k and buy gold and potato cannons.
Everything sucks eggs.
January 19, 2025 at 3:41 AM
Everything sucks eggs.
I hope Katniss shows up in season 2 of Squid Game.
January 14, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I hope Katniss shows up in season 2 of Squid Game.
Watching Gavin and Stacey for the first time cause I’ve literally run the mill on American tv.
December 12, 2024 at 7:31 PM
Watching Gavin and Stacey for the first time cause I’ve literally run the mill on American tv.
Just Shazam’d the music at the doctor’s office, not because I didn’t know who sang it but as proof that the healthcare system is designed to make you suffer.
December 11, 2024 at 1:25 PM
Just Shazam’d the music at the doctor’s office, not because I didn’t know who sang it but as proof that the healthcare system is designed to make you suffer.
Buying a pair of shoes a half size bigger doesn’t seem like it matters too much until you trip and fall onto some concrete. (I didn’t even brace myself properly cause I was trying not to crush my headphone case) Ouch.
December 10, 2024 at 6:48 PM
Buying a pair of shoes a half size bigger doesn’t seem like it matters too much until you trip and fall onto some concrete. (I didn’t even brace myself properly cause I was trying not to crush my headphone case) Ouch.
Turning into a cake over pie person feels like such a slap in my own face.
December 9, 2024 at 11:51 PM
Turning into a cake over pie person feels like such a slap in my own face.
A movie where the aliens are actually Neanderthals who did mushrooms that expanded their brain power, leading to a realization that they needed to hide from humans for 40,000 years?
December 9, 2024 at 10:57 AM
A movie where the aliens are actually Neanderthals who did mushrooms that expanded their brain power, leading to a realization that they needed to hide from humans for 40,000 years?
Customers have been nicer to me since I’ve started wearing a Santa hat.
December 6, 2024 at 9:10 PM
Customers have been nicer to me since I’ve started wearing a Santa hat.
When the CEO in The Hudsucker Proxy jumped out of the building to his death, but the shareholders carried on with their meeting anyway. Coen brothers been knew.
a woman is typing on a typewriter while sitting at a desk in front of a window
ALT: a woman is typing on a typewriter while sitting at a desk in front of a window
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2024 at 4:09 PM
When the CEO in The Hudsucker Proxy jumped out of the building to his death, but the shareholders carried on with their meeting anyway. Coen brothers been knew.
Running a ruffled potato chip through some dip has the same relaxing effects as a zen garden.
December 3, 2024 at 6:54 PM
Running a ruffled potato chip through some dip has the same relaxing effects as a zen garden.
This song feels like a day in my childhood somewhere between 1994-1996. Whatever that means.
December 2, 2024 at 12:28 PM
This song feels like a day in my childhood somewhere between 1994-1996. Whatever that means.
Lip gloss makes you look like you just ate a bunch of pussy.
December 1, 2024 at 7:18 PM
Lip gloss makes you look like you just ate a bunch of pussy.
How did no one ever make an Allentown sitcom inspired by the Billy Joel song?
December 1, 2024 at 11:51 AM
How did no one ever make an Allentown sitcom inspired by the Billy Joel song?
Yacht Rock is similar to Bruce Springsteen’s music in that they both make me want to hurl.
December 1, 2024 at 1:45 AM
Yacht Rock is similar to Bruce Springsteen’s music in that they both make me want to hurl.
I hope no one I love is ever murdered. I’d rather be the dead one than getting interviewed for a Netflix documentary.
December 1, 2024 at 12:06 AM
I hope no one I love is ever murdered. I’d rather be the dead one than getting interviewed for a Netflix documentary.
Can we finally talk about how The Substance was interesting visually, but predictably boring story wise?
November 30, 2024 at 10:38 AM
Can we finally talk about how The Substance was interesting visually, but predictably boring story wise?
I am so full and it’s wonderful.
November 28, 2024 at 11:09 PM
I am so full and it’s wonderful.
Something in my treadmill made a tiny explosion noise and now it won’t work. A sign from the Thanksgiving gods to pack on the pounds for a harsh winter?
November 28, 2024 at 2:50 PM
Something in my treadmill made a tiny explosion noise and now it won’t work. A sign from the Thanksgiving gods to pack on the pounds for a harsh winter?
On the third day, you eat the last of your leftover jambalaya with fried eggs and extra extra hot sauce.
November 27, 2024 at 3:29 PM
On the third day, you eat the last of your leftover jambalaya with fried eggs and extra extra hot sauce.
I miss having the types of friends who would come over and dye your hair.
November 26, 2024 at 7:48 PM
I miss having the types of friends who would come over and dye your hair.
I respect my children as individuals but would it kill the universe to let them like the same desserts?
November 26, 2024 at 1:32 PM
I respect my children as individuals but would it kill the universe to let them like the same desserts?
