Unlike humans, alligators have no capacity for malice. (Neither do bears, which is a different conversation, but not really.)
July 3, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Unlike humans, alligators have no capacity for malice. (Neither do bears, which is a different conversation, but not really.)
Wonder what the crystal girlies would say about me accidentally vacuuming up my rose quartz
March 21, 2025 at 4:56 AM
Wonder what the crystal girlies would say about me accidentally vacuuming up my rose quartz
One of the most difficult realizations I've made as an adult is that like 70% of the population has bad breath. Are y'all OK?
March 12, 2025 at 9:43 PM
One of the most difficult realizations I've made as an adult is that like 70% of the population has bad breath. Are y'all OK?
#notesfromtheflowershop These two are wealthy beyond belief.
March 7, 2025 at 6:51 PM
#notesfromtheflowershop These two are wealthy beyond belief.
How I sleep knowing I’m about to turn 39, my “sexual peak” is behind me, and I can now begin transitioning to my final form of withered crone
February 22, 2025 at 11:56 PM
How I sleep knowing I’m about to turn 39, my “sexual peak” is behind me, and I can now begin transitioning to my final form of withered crone
I genuinely believe that within our lifetime we’ll have technology that exposes us to ads while we’re asleep because it’s presently the only time we’re neither producing nor consuming. Terrific, isn’t it?
February 20, 2025 at 1:44 AM
I genuinely believe that within our lifetime we’ll have technology that exposes us to ads while we’re asleep because it’s presently the only time we’re neither producing nor consuming. Terrific, isn’t it?
Just saw a guy in a black Tesla eating his boogers at a stoplight. Another proud member of Musk’s army of alphas
February 18, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Just saw a guy in a black Tesla eating his boogers at a stoplight. Another proud member of Musk’s army of alphas
Got too high and ate both servings of my HelloFresh meal
February 17, 2025 at 3:39 AM
Got too high and ate both servings of my HelloFresh meal
You know it’s been a long week when you drop your laundry at the fluff’n fold and apologize to the attendant for what she’s about to go through
February 15, 2025 at 1:36 AM
You know it’s been a long week when you drop your laundry at the fluff’n fold and apologize to the attendant for what she’s about to go through
As a single, childless, self-supporting woman, it feels a little thrilling and defiant to even exist in this political climate. It’s fun to imagine how angry some men would be just to imagine me standing topless in my kitchen, eating fruit over my sink and answering to no one
February 12, 2025 at 4:37 AM
As a single, childless, self-supporting woman, it feels a little thrilling and defiant to even exist in this political climate. It’s fun to imagine how angry some men would be just to imagine me standing topless in my kitchen, eating fruit over my sink and answering to no one
As a florist and chronically single person, I feel destined to hate Valentine’s Day. But I fucking LOVE it. Always have. Can’t explain it. Wish I was cooler about it.
February 9, 2025 at 2:44 AM
As a florist and chronically single person, I feel destined to hate Valentine’s Day. But I fucking LOVE it. Always have. Can’t explain it. Wish I was cooler about it.
Egg shortage has made me into a chia pudding girlie and I bet my LDL is so pissed
February 7, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Egg shortage has made me into a chia pudding girlie and I bet my LDL is so pissed
You know I really thought the Trump administration would ease us into the concentration camp idea but I guess we’re just going whole hog #gitmo
January 30, 2025 at 1:14 AM
You know I really thought the Trump administration would ease us into the concentration camp idea but I guess we’re just going whole hog #gitmo
#notesfromtheflowershop Are you going to ask her out to a romantic pasghetti dinner?
January 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
#notesfromtheflowershop Are you going to ask her out to a romantic pasghetti dinner?
Can someone please explain to the President the difference between forest and chaparral
January 25, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Can someone please explain to the President the difference between forest and chaparral
Trump congratulating George Whitesides on his “great name” is so on-brand it’s actually very funny. He’s a caricature.
January 25, 2025 at 12:55 AM
Trump congratulating George Whitesides on his “great name” is so on-brand it’s actually very funny. He’s a caricature.
Me policing comments on Rednote
January 24, 2025 at 10:07 PM
Me policing comments on Rednote
Shitlibs will really deadname a trans person just to stick it to Trump. Why don’t y’all stick to designing RBG merch on Redbubble
January 22, 2025 at 2:55 AM
Shitlibs will really deadname a trans person just to stick it to Trump. Why don’t y’all stick to designing RBG merch on Redbubble
Millennials will never know the joy of owning a home on Ham Rapids St
January 21, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Millennials will never know the joy of owning a home on Ham Rapids St
Punk rock take: I’ve been saying Elon Musk is the worst person in the world for AT LEAST five years. Yes I’m smug about it.
January 20, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Punk rock take: I’ve been saying Elon Musk is the worst person in the world for AT LEAST five years. Yes I’m smug about it.
Well now what the hell am I supposed to do before bed? Masturbate? #tiktokban
January 19, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Well now what the hell am I supposed to do before bed? Masturbate? #tiktokban