Back to work....

This is supposed to be relaxing break for me... Finally able to come home after being away for so long.... Only to be reminded about how toxic it all actually is...

To life like this... To constantly have this mental abuse and having to walk on eggshells on every single one of my actions and words is a miserable way to live... A prison with no bars.

Everything I do is not good enough, everything I say is wrong, every single one of my actions you guys will find something to criticize me on.... I'm forced to buy and do things in secret. I'm forced to lie out of fear of provoking both of you..

If I stay silent, they see me as arrogant and didn't respect them. When I talk, they will take the opportunity to spin it (no matter how unrelated or how unprovocative I am) into something to criticize and berate me about how useless I am... Either way, I lose...

Makes me regret why I ever come home during the holidays...

How on earth did a wonderful conversation about subsidies turn into me being useless, undependable, ungrateful and how other people are much better than me??!! 😔😔

Imagine being told your entire life that you are not good enough and that other people are much better compared to you.....that feeling is just...😔