Halfway through. The things I knew would be tough have indeed been very tough to face, but I'm thankful for friends who've kept watch and pulled me out of some of my thousand-yard stare moments. Very appreciative of all who've made this fun so far and looking forward to more new experiences. 💛

So, that's the goal. Let's make special things happen. I'll be showing up with a head full of ideas and a car full of gear, but ultimately it's about connecting and sharing in all that kink brings out of us. I hope I can live up to my word, and I hope this will be my best event yet. 💛

I want to play my part in making some special moments happen this week. Over the past few months in particular, I've had a number of scenes and experiences that have been truly special. And it's been made clear that they were special times for others, too. That truly means the world to me.

If there's a single thought from that post that's stuck with me the most, it's the need to ask myself "What am I building here?" Thinking about that question has helped change my outlook and my goals for the upcoming weekend.

One thing that's helped was reading @trikoot.net 's recent post about searching for meaning in kink. I highly recommend reading it if you haven't. It put words to feelings that I (and many others, I suspect) have felt when it comes to difficulties and frustration in seeking fulfillment through kink.

Even though my personal circumstances now are entirely different, going back this year feels like getting back onto a horse that bucked and trampled me. I've been all over the place emotionally for the past couple weeks, and I'm uncertain exactly what the event itself holds in store for me.

Instead, that week ended up as one of the worst in my life. It had little to do with the event itself versus other factors, but by the time anyone saw me by the fire pits that week I was a shadow of myself. All the confidence I'd built up to carry into that week had been thoroughly crushed.

When I last attended GB two years ago, I entered the week at a low point in my life. I was suffering from a combination of burnout, stress, and loneliness that had completely overwhelmed me. I'd just made some major life changes and viewed GB as the point where things would begin turning around.

(Also I'm a dumb dog who got too excited to take pictures but before this I had @crewbiker.bsky.social making some delightful noises twisting the electro knobs while he struggled in his straitjacket, highly recommend doing this to him if you get the chance)

Won't go into the gritty details but if I had a nickel for every time that exact scenario played out in my life, I'd have ten cents. That isn't a lot of money, but it sure is enough to make you question a lot about yourself.

Hugs, and hope you/we both eventually find something better down the line.

well, yes, however, comma,

and also being a yellow dog irl *wags*

I really need a hobby