im so tired, i dont want to be strong anymore, i dont want to live like this, i dont want to exist

i didnt ask for this

I miss my meds at the right dose I feel so awful and empty

why do i need 1000 tabs open to find a doctor that will provide the care i need without treating me like shit for being trans, why the fuck is healthcare so dogshit and guess based, how the fuck am i supposed to juggle all of this

HOW AM I ALWAYS TIRED i sleep the entire day, wake up, not even 2 hours later i can barely keep my eyes open, i try to be active, cant physically will my body to remain active, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME T-T

turns out that weird taste was mold, yay me.

I read the NPC dialogue "You lookin' to head inside?"
as "You're lookin' dead inside" at firs glance ;-;

"You're not hurting anymore" has rung through my head for days now, I know it's not a justification but I wish there were better ways to escape the pain

soul crushing dysphoria to top the night off, why i even bother im not sure...

and theyre fucking yelling again and as always now im stuck still, light headed, and just scared, why would you stay with someone who constantly just antagonises you, why would you subject everyone else to this including your broken fragile daughter who you KNOW cant handle being around anger

Cant show me the most basic respect, cant have me at your celebrations, fuck you.

Cant even give me the dignity of gendering me properly, wont use my name, inviting in the abusive violent bigoted fuck that was the sole reason you gave me for not being "able" to gender me properly, fuck off, im having none of this anymore

I honestly don't even have a plan for this account, I just wanted to have 2, it is familiar and comfy to have alts to an extent

it has been found out that I exist here, I promise to do good :3