Apparently you are supposed to use dry shampoo the night before for best results.

But night before Liz has her shit together.

Night before Liz is going to wake up early and give herself enough time to wash her hair in the shower.

Night before Liz is an optimistic moron.

People who bitch about pride were definitely the kids that tried to blow out the candles on other kids' birthday cakes.

NEVER DULL YOUR SPARK.

If you shine too bright for someone's comfort, they can put on sunglasses.

I made a deal with myself that if I wanted something sweet, I had to make it myself.
So guess who has made two trays of brownies AND a cake in the last two weeks. 💀

#yagirlhasnochill

I have a hard time believing an 18th century French maiden with a 20 inch Disney waist got the beast on that horse.

HOW DID HE GET ON THE HORSE DISNEY?!

One can dream.

I foresee this ending poorly.

If you see me out dancing and think I look like a maniac keep it to yourself because my dogs helped me come up with those moves and I trust them more than you.

This weekend there was a pair of gloves on the ground next to the car we were parked beside.
I didn't want the owners to not see them and drive away, so I picked up the gloves and put them under the windshield wipers.

But. It just occurred to me. What if those weren't their gloves?

“Keep your face to the sunshine - and the shadows will fall behind you."

"I do all things through spite - which strengthens me."

These are the two sides to my personality, and they live together inside my body and give me indigestion and headaches.