once i'm done with my novel (or if I have to take a break from it), I'll let it sit for a few weeks and in the meantime i'll finish my blog story

also-- I read the short story that I wrote a while ago and it's completely insane and awesome. It's told from the perspective of someone writing a blog so i was going to MAKE a fake website and everything. I'm so tempted to get that together, but i must prioritize my novel rn

omg it's so embarrassing. I'll send it to you on discord

but like i said, i started lithium at the same time AND started working from home for like 20 hours a week so who is to say what fixed me

it shouldn't be this easy but i was so trapped in rumination cycles every single day and they FELT like they were productive-- like I was really buckling down to solve a problem. Once i found out it was not productive at all, I just..... stopped? idk

I'm sure you're progressing on bowing, it just takes a really long time, and I think there's a frustrating learning stage on the violin where you can play more and more complex music, but still aren't able to make twinkle twinkle little star sound "beautiful." It feels endless, but it's not.

Now we’re talkin

awesome, thank you!!

music stores don't rent mandolins because they're not school instruments, but i also don't want to drop the money on a random instrument just to try it out

and by "play it" i mostly mean being able to pluck out a song from sheet music, not necessarily play anything cool

star wars, I guess? it's also a merch juggernaut. marvel? idk, that's such a "by committee" brand and I feel like it actually doesn't matter at all

it turns out that when i stop attributing my social differences as personal failure I am more able to seek out solutions that work for me

😭😭😭

it feels so obviously wrong when i write it down LOL

"I probably ruminate about feeling worthless for about two hours each day. That's 28 hours for two weeks. Divided by 24 that's 1.16 days." why is my brain like this