How do you wish a happy birthday to someone who used to be your best friend and was a productive member of society but has since joined a cult and is no longer recognizable to you? Because that's how I feel about the United States of America.

Happy birthday, buddy. I hope you get the help you need.

Don't be afraid to call things by what they are. MAGA is a terrorist organization, ICE is a secret police force conducting Ethnic Cleansing, Elon Musk is an oligarch, and Trump is a foreign backed coup d'état figurehead. This is not an administration, this is a regime, and your country is occupied.

Timeline cleanse 🌞

Threads is getting infiltrated with MAGA idiots and Russian bots. Maybe I should hang out here. How’s it going everybody? Anyone else feel a pervasive feeling of dread and nausea 24/7? lol nothing

I pronounce it “BLOO-skee”

Penne is the most low-maintenance of all the pastas

Fozzie is the Samwise Gamgee of the Muppets

lol I’m just cutting and pasting my most popular Threads, heh

Ugh now I have to get more followers but I am so boring

Billionaire grifters are about to dismantle your government. So instead of your tax dollars going to your Medicare or your Medicaid or your affordable care act or to veterans benefits or your social security - it will go to THEM in the form of tax cuts for the wealthy.

What’s all this then