Every cat should have a high place from which to judge.

Me: I dragged our old, beat up couch from the old apartment to the new one because you and your sister spent so much time on it, and I put it by a window so it gets sun in the afternoon.
Q*bert: I shall spend 84% of my time on the new sofa.

I like this new Church. I went to confession this morning and received five Our Papa Bears and ten Hail Ditkas.

Trump puts the "-ish" in English

Google mislabeled the Gulf of Mexico as "Gulf of America." Another thing I learned today is that you can rate bodies of water on Google maps. I mark down heavily for poor spelling. Just gonna leave that here.