i really wish they had a subscription tier for doordash thats gives you a driver who speeds and drives recklessly so i get my food faster

getting a prince alberts piercing at the local claires

shoutout women

humanity peaked with Pixar’s Cars

fun fact, cheesesteaks were actually invented in Trenton, New Jersey

Me: I have a very high breaking point

Also me as soon as one thing goes wrong: I literally want to go bald and move to an Eastern European country

Subscribe to The Onion. Maybe we can buy Red Lobster next.

him.

erm what the sigma