Heather Bentley
@librarybun65.bsky.social
Keeper of stories. Seeker of knowledge. Animal lover. Pop culture fan. Jesus follower.
4 months later, I’m finally feeling hopeful again. I have some job prospects, and I am better than I’ve ever been.
December 6, 2023 at 1:51 AM
4 months later, I’m finally feeling hopeful again. I have some job prospects, and I am better than I’ve ever been.
The next day, I resigned. I knew I wouldn’t make it 12 weeks FMLA and be able to go back and pretend it didn’t happen. Not keep out of the back of my mind reason for non-renewal. I made a decision that day: I will not be a slave to the system any longer.
December 6, 2023 at 1:50 AM
The next day, I resigned. I knew I wouldn’t make it 12 weeks FMLA and be able to go back and pretend it didn’t happen. Not keep out of the back of my mind reason for non-renewal. I made a decision that day: I will not be a slave to the system any longer.
They gave me medicine to sleep, and I was so scared to fall asleep. I told my husband I was scared I wouldn’t wake up, and I didn’t want to die. He promised me he’d be there when I woke up. I finally gave in. I woke up.
December 5, 2023 at 11:51 PM
They gave me medicine to sleep, and I was so scared to fall asleep. I told my husband I was scared I wouldn’t wake up, and I didn’t want to die. He promised me he’d be there when I woke up. I finally gave in. I woke up.
The ER visit was awful. The staff were laughing/acting like I wasn’t there and were pulling on all the screws/walls/anything I could hurt myself with. I finally spoke up and asked what they were doing. They put me in a green jumpsuit that was too small. I was singing my wedding song to my husband.
December 5, 2023 at 11:50 PM
The ER visit was awful. The staff were laughing/acting like I wasn’t there and were pulling on all the screws/walls/anything I could hurt myself with. I finally spoke up and asked what they were doing. They put me in a green jumpsuit that was too small. I was singing my wedding song to my husband.
My husband (who worked in Mobile crisis for 5 years) had to take me to the ER for suicidal thoughts. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was saying everything that came to mind. I had never been so scared before in my life. I was fighting so hard to live, feeling like I would die.
December 5, 2023 at 11:48 PM
My husband (who worked in Mobile crisis for 5 years) had to take me to the ER for suicidal thoughts. My blood pressure was through the roof and I was saying everything that came to mind. I had never been so scared before in my life. I was fighting so hard to live, feeling like I would die.
Monday comes, and my husband has to call them and tell them what’s happened. Later, we’re walking in the grocery store trying to get me some sleep meds. I’m shaking, in my pajamas, and am thinking, “this is it. I’m having a nervous breakdown. I don’t want to live anymore.”
December 5, 2023 at 11:46 PM
Monday comes, and my husband has to call them and tell them what’s happened. Later, we’re walking in the grocery store trying to get me some sleep meds. I’m shaking, in my pajamas, and am thinking, “this is it. I’m having a nervous breakdown. I don’t want to live anymore.”
I don’t sleep for 3 days, because I’m ruminating and trying to figure out how I’m going to go back to work Monday. My admin knew I was having medical issues and that I have ADHD, yet they didn’t care. They’re expecting me to trust them when they’ve just shattered my trust and hope.
December 5, 2023 at 11:45 PM
I don’t sleep for 3 days, because I’m ruminating and trying to figure out how I’m going to go back to work Monday. My admin knew I was having medical issues and that I have ADHD, yet they didn’t care. They’re expecting me to trust them when they’ve just shattered my trust and hope.
Turns out, a parent had called complaining about me showing emotion in front of their 7 year old. They interviewed the kids behind my back. They piled on a few different “issues” and said if I didn’t call for help, they would write me up. It was later documented via email.
December 5, 2023 at 11:44 PM
Turns out, a parent had called complaining about me showing emotion in front of their 7 year old. They interviewed the kids behind my back. They piled on a few different “issues” and said if I didn’t call for help, they would write me up. It was later documented via email.
I leave the room saying, “I need water” but began to have another panic attack. Went to my mentor teacher’s classroom to calm down, went back to finish the meeting. Asked after the meeting if we could talk. It turned into me being insulted, berated, and demeaned.
December 5, 2023 at 11:40 PM
I leave the room saying, “I need water” but began to have another panic attack. Went to my mentor teacher’s classroom to calm down, went back to finish the meeting. Asked after the meeting if we could talk. It turned into me being insulted, berated, and demeaned.
I took the initiative to email and let her know we’d reschedule and that I understood. Two days later, I am in a committee meeting and they spring on me a task for next week that I must do instead of my planned lessons (which was also our first checkout and lesson plans were due then).
December 5, 2023 at 11:39 PM
I took the initiative to email and let her know we’d reschedule and that I understood. Two days later, I am in a committee meeting and they spring on me a task for next week that I must do instead of my planned lessons (which was also our first checkout and lesson plans were due then).
Later that day (well after contracted hours) I ended up having one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had. I immediately messaged my principal requesting a meeting to discuss that I was struggling/asking for help. She agreed, but the next day missed our meeting because of a student issue.
December 5, 2023 at 11:37 PM
Later that day (well after contracted hours) I ended up having one of the worst panic attacks I have ever had. I immediately messaged my principal requesting a meeting to discuss that I was struggling/asking for help. She agreed, but the next day missed our meeting because of a student issue.
I finished this book today. Definitely needed in any High School Library.
November 18, 2023 at 11:56 PM
I finished this book today. Definitely needed in any High School Library.
This is important: remember that your life matters and is valuable. Your dreams can change and you can achieve greatness. Support your local Library and Librarians.
November 7, 2023 at 3:17 PM
This is important: remember that your life matters and is valuable. Your dreams can change and you can achieve greatness. Support your local Library and Librarians.
This whole situation has shown me 3 things:
1. I love being a Librarian, and I want to work were I get to support them.
2. Mental health is health and it’s not shameful. I was a fantastic children’s Librarian and will continue to be a fantastic Librarian.
3. It’s okay to not be okay.
1. I love being a Librarian, and I want to work were I get to support them.
2. Mental health is health and it’s not shameful. I was a fantastic children’s Librarian and will continue to be a fantastic Librarian.
3. It’s okay to not be okay.
November 7, 2023 at 3:16 PM
This whole situation has shown me 3 things:
1. I love being a Librarian, and I want to work were I get to support them.
2. Mental health is health and it’s not shameful. I was a fantastic children’s Librarian and will continue to be a fantastic Librarian.
3. It’s okay to not be okay.
1. I love being a Librarian, and I want to work were I get to support them.
2. Mental health is health and it’s not shameful. I was a fantastic children’s Librarian and will continue to be a fantastic Librarian.
3. It’s okay to not be okay.
Fast forward 10 years. I officially have the correct diagnosis, which I knew all along because I was naturally a curious creature. My medical providers are listening and I married the Love of my life. He is a mental health professional and has helped me himself. I’m finally coming out of crisis.
November 7, 2023 at 3:12 PM
Fast forward 10 years. I officially have the correct diagnosis, which I knew all along because I was naturally a curious creature. My medical providers are listening and I married the Love of my life. He is a mental health professional and has helped me himself. I’m finally coming out of crisis.
I would share my problems on Social media through writing, which would be oversharing. A friend would reach out and message me the name of a therapist. I was offended, but I decided to try it. I was a poor college kid (I was studying nursing at the time and trying to get through that) it was free.
November 7, 2023 at 2:24 PM
I would share my problems on Social media through writing, which would be oversharing. A friend would reach out and message me the name of a therapist. I was offended, but I decided to try it. I was a poor college kid (I was studying nursing at the time and trying to get through that) it was free.
When I was 19, I would have my first suicidal thought. I would immediately call one of my best friends. Throughout this entire time, I am a devout Christian (I still am) and I would pray or call someone to help me. I would begin seeking a church.
November 7, 2023 at 2:20 PM
When I was 19, I would have my first suicidal thought. I would immediately call one of my best friends. Throughout this entire time, I am a devout Christian (I still am) and I would pray or call someone to help me. I would begin seeking a church.
Fast forward to my senior year. I lose 40 lbs, and closer to my “healthy” weight, but I start to develop an eating disorder. When I turn 18 I finally convince my parents that I need to see a doctor. I’m diagnosed with depression and begin taking my first antidepressant.
November 7, 2023 at 2:18 PM
Fast forward to my senior year. I lose 40 lbs, and closer to my “healthy” weight, but I start to develop an eating disorder. When I turn 18 I finally convince my parents that I need to see a doctor. I’m diagnosed with depression and begin taking my first antidepressant.
That was also the year I read a book for fun that I was interested in. All my friends were into Twilight, but I couldn’t get into it. I read “The Time Traveler’s Wife” by @audreyniffenegger.bsky.social and fell in love with the Romantasy genre.
November 7, 2023 at 2:15 PM
That was also the year I read a book for fun that I was interested in. All my friends were into Twilight, but I couldn’t get into it. I read “The Time Traveler’s Wife” by @audreyniffenegger.bsky.social and fell in love with the Romantasy genre.
Fast forward to my teenage years. I’m 16 and I quit having my monthly cycle. I am officially diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. In addition, that was the first year I experienced my first major depressive episode. The school I attended didn’t really have a school psychologist.
November 7, 2023 at 2:13 PM
Fast forward to my teenage years. I’m 16 and I quit having my monthly cycle. I am officially diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. In addition, that was the first year I experienced my first major depressive episode. The school I attended didn’t really have a school psychologist.
When I was 6, the teacher I had told my mother I couldn’t read. I began going to tutoring at my local library. The first book I picked to read with my tutor? “No David” by David Shannon. My mom drug me to the Library, but I was never interested. I was a tv kid, but I read every Magic Tree House.
November 7, 2023 at 2:10 PM
When I was 6, the teacher I had told my mother I couldn’t read. I began going to tutoring at my local library. The first book I picked to read with my tutor? “No David” by David Shannon. My mom drug me to the Library, but I was never interested. I was a tv kid, but I read every Magic Tree House.