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Honestly considering just adding onto this thread whenever I feel like I want to get around to complaining/venting about the other stuff. Hmmm.

what's fucked is that this isn't even all my thoughts on the matter. I just didn't want to make the thread too long.

This also may or may not be brought on by the wave of posts I'm seeing from people who are trying to tell others to "do that thing you want to do now" or "now is the time we have to support other artists"
It funnily has the opposite effect on me than what it's supposed to have

Sometimes it just feels good to just blurt stuff out into the aether. Pay me no mind 🩵

Sorry for this dumb thread of whiny nonsense. I figured my account is pretty small and quiet, and it being late at the time of posting, so no one is really gonna read this. So I don't feel as bad about just dumping this here. But if you did manage to read, thanks I suppose. Ahahah.

I have so many other storylines that take place in it but, if I couldn't get eyes on this current one, why would those get any? So, I think I just wanna stay on my YouTube. While that too is very small, I do enjoy making videos though, so I think I'm gonna keep doing that. And probably just that.

Even made a nice site. Sometimes I think I should just finish just to say I actually completed something big like that for once. So the work doesn't go in vain. I probably will. I can't help but to flip flops on it. But I probably will not continue to post any more stories in my Hunderian universe.

The remainder of the talk scene bgs. The script/dialogue. Learning a program to make this all work. And honestly, I felt super proud of doing all of that myself. It's in its final stages rn, having the last 4 chapters to be fully illustrated, and then run through to make sure everything is good.

Mostly by myself. Had a brief moment I had artists helping with background work, but I had to stop bc it couldn't afford that anymore. That was the majority of chapters 1 -4. So I did every background after that point. I did all the sprites for the 30+ characters. All the action scenes.

I haven't really worked on it for a while bc of these thoughts. Even though it's so close to being done. I started this story so many years ago, but actually started making real work in the media to tell said story over 5 years ago in 2020. I spent so much of my time working on everything on it.

I keep telling myself, "oh just wait til you finish your VN at least. Then you can exit out of here." But I don't know, I feel like doing that now. No one is waiting on it to be done. And honestly, I don't even really need to finish it. /I/ know how my story ends. That's all that matters, yeah?

Which is why the last couple of years, my online presence has been so scarce. Bc it just feels like there's no point on being online anymore. On showing anything I do. I'm just so tired. I feel jaded, like my years on here have led to nothing. Nothing negative, but nothing really positive either.

I have characters and a story I care so much about, but it's only ever been just me who does. Or my stuff in general. Now that I'm older than lil 13 year old me, about to be 30 this year, I think I'm just tired of it. Tired of posting. Tired of trying to convince people.

And I never got much from it. But at least when I was younger, I had fun posting stuff. I didn't care much about who saw. I mean, I still liked if more people commented and liked my things but, I still enjoyed just being online and sharing stuff. But now, not so much. I feel so burnt out.