And still, quietly, in the back of my mind. I hope I am just a radical leftist. I hope all of the work I do to “fight authoritarianism” is a waste of time. I hope they’re right.

But I know, painfully, they haven’t been yet.

Even now I have several friends who think my fears of authoritarianism are radical. It’s only my most politically disconnected friends who say that now though. I know they are naïve, I will keep fighting for the rights of immigrants, people of color, women, trans people, the LGBT+ community at large

After trump was sworn in, I sat with a friend from highschool. That was when I was first told in person “Okay, but think about how good his presidency will be for comedy!” but it never was. Not then, and especially not now.

“I think that is what will happen if Trump is allowed to be president” I replied. We both sat very quietly for a while.

I remember discussing the pressure people were putting on Congress not to certify the election. Trump’s rhetoric was too dangerous, he was too unhinged, Congress commit let him be president.” The man I was talking to said “I worry doing that will put us into constitutional crisis”

When Trump won I attended a brunch with the discussion group the morning after. We’d planned to be celebrating, instead we grieved. That same man from before reiterated, how trump would never do all the things we feared and if he tried he couldn’t possibly succeed.

We expressed fear for women’s rights and economic stability. He replied “you really think that could happen here? I think that’s a bit much. It would never get that bad”
“I hope you’re right” became a a phrase I would use a lot when talking with people about politics.

When Trump became the nominee I remember being part of a discussion group and one of the more right wing asked “what are you all so afraid of if Trump wins?” We explained our fear of authoritarianism, and the loss of our democracy. For the lives and dignity of immigrants.

During trump’s first run I was a work and a TV there was turned to the news. I watched Trump descend that golden escalator and a pit dropped in my stomach. I knew the danger of his violent rhetoric. A man I worked with saw my face and said “Don’t worry, he won’t last a month”

In the height of the 2008 recession I wanted to find that woman and shake her and scream “THIS YOU IDIOT! The economy is in ruins!” Now in 2025 I see the growing thread of white supremacy even then. I again want to find that woman and shake her shoulders and scream in her face.

When Bush got a second term I was in highschool. I distinctly remember walking into my theater class. A handful of students were celebrating on stage while the rest sat scattered around devastated. One of the girls on the stage said to me “Oh relax, what’s the worst that could happen in 4 years?”

I was a very small child when GW Bush was elected the first time, I remember being confused that they didn’t count or recount all the votes. As an adult 25 years later I wonder what might have happened if Gore had fought harder for a full recount.

What fun and horrifying new reality we have where I don’t know if this is true without a Google search.