A big bear hug to both @Glinte and @Artur-Galstyan for simultaneously sponsoring @beartype. Santa delivered early this year. Apparently, Santa is also ripped, has glowing red eyes, and exudes a disturbing aura of Yuletide danger. I still trust him. Christmas: *ACTIVATE.*

@beartype 0.22.9 celebrates one million @beartype downloads a day! We wanted to rent out a loft space, flip a dry ice machine off Ebay for pennies, shadow-drop DJ Lorien Testard, invite all our GitHub homies, and get down and funky with this QA quinceañera. It didn't happen. I released instead.

@beartype 0.22.8. It's happening. Yet, it shouldn't be happening. This is the corrupt timeline we live on. Overlord Ainz Ooal Gown, we summon you to complete the dark ritual! End this endless cycle of bug death and rebirth... once and for all.

@beartype 0.22.7 descends like an owl with sorta unsettling black eyes devoid of pupils, majestic wings aloft on the winds of QA. Do not be alarmed. Actually, isn't that when you should be most alarmed? When somebody says, "Do not be alarmed"!?

@beartype 0.22.6 sidles up to your door at 11:20PM with a steaming hot-out-of-the-oven delivery of... wait. This isn't pizza. Where's the pizza, delivery bear? Delivery bear growls, "There is no pizza." You feel uneasy. Yet the urge to upgrade your Gradio web app is both pungent and overpowering.

@beartype 0.22.5 valiantly arises from the ashes of our issue tracker like a burning phoenix on fire!!!! You can't stop this. @beartype now fully complies with Python optimization. Make @beartype pass out by passing Python that "-O" option or setting that "PYTHONOPTIMIZE=1" environment variable. \o/

@beartype 0.22.4 delivers official Poetry and `pipenv` compatibility! Let's not even talk about what @beartype 0.22.3 broke. Okay. It was FastMCP. @beartype 0.22.3 broke the AI, folks. That's why I'm furiously typing on a Saturday evening like my life depends on it. Because... it probably does.

@beartype 0.22.3 descends softly. A crinkled QA leaf drifts somnabulently. Autumn gusts on GitHub. Rain hails on PyPI. These are the haiku of our Pythonic lives.

@beartype 0.22.3 brings official Redis support while dropping Python 3.9 support! Why does every sentence end with an explanation mark!

In a desperate bid to resolve @beartype's growing pile of years-old unsolved issues without actually doing anything, I've officially enabled Gemini AI across the entire @beartype repository. Prompt Gemini to fix any issue by appending a new comment:

@gemini-cli fix this shameful issue that i hate

Welcome to the "All Beartype! All Python QA! All Coding, Yay!" frenzy. Join @beartype maintainer @leycec, your host with the most QA, as together we blast near-real-time pure-Python runtime-static type-checking past the event horizon of sanity, normalcy, decency, and O(1) constant time complexity.