"It's a pity the fucking her crossfit trainer scandal didn't kill her"
"Pity? It was pity that stayed the electorate's hand. Many in office deserve to lose, and some who lose deserve victory. Can you give it to them, Frodo?"

Henry V went to war so hard they had to make a whole new tool to fix his face

One thing I can tell you about the homework assignment I did after seeing footage of mass graves being dug in Central Park is I gave it my all and academically excelled

Second-best president who got iced!

I've been saying the sentence that would have saved us all on January 7 was "He tried to run, I swear"

Some of us with ereaders still have libraries that are collectively larger and heavier than all of our other possessions

Comedy movie where everyone wants to end the shutdown but the Speaker and he goes into hiding to avoid thr pressure to reconvene the House

A lot of words to mean surrender, you could have just put out a picture of a white flag

Great job Senator, thanks so much for being such a strong fighter for your constituents. Suggestion: instead of counting sheep tonight to fall asleep, you should count how many people in New Hampshire will have their premiums doubled because you bought a Republican pinky promise

Is anyone in that story easy to live with

The guy is 39 points underwater with independents in his district and this is the fault of progressives because?

Adult reading group pastor voice

I'm really trying to be optimistic about the elections but like Congress has functionally been dissolved for the foreseeable future. We are in the Charles I zone