as far as zaddies go, Patrick Stewart walked so Jeff Goldbloom could run tell me I’m wrong

using annual Costco rewards to knock a few bucks off a new vacuum seems right

if you’re an elder millennial band geek, and you decide to see if “you still got it”, that most recent round of botulinum toxin injections gonna affect your embouchure #elderbandmillenial #dysport #frenchhorn #adhd

Carol Andrew Pilbasian Miller: style icon #kristenschaal #lastmanonearth

as an elder millennial, seeing these two on television as middle aged widowed/divorced parents and hitting on each really rocks the ‘ol paradigm #shrinking #howimetyourmother #legendary

If you want to smell of anus, and armpits:

when rearranging your furniture before 9am starts to taste like ya need to take your adderall

loading the dishwasher, I realized the plastic measuring cup covered in powdered sugar is the same vessel (having been cleaned) that I used to rinse the dog during his bath last night. Realllly leaning hard into “middle age Midwest millennial”.

the only bar involved in my Friday night plans