My friends, we have less than a month to get me to 2,000 Bluesky followers and 5,000 YouTube subs before the year is over. Tell your friends about me if they enjoy:

Obscure late 90s/early 2000s windows games, shitposts about what constitutes a "retro" game, and pictures of FUCKED UP controllers

ENOUGH asking if my diy Frankenstei-ed parts vehicle is “road-worthy”. It’s better to ask if the road is worthy of my madness-mobile!

the term “neurospicy” implies the existence of “neurobland”

i am god’s soggiest cereal boy

these bs SMOOTH mortars and pestles - where are the FLAVOUR HOLES?!

my hips don’t lie and they’re telling me it’s going to rain because ouch ouch ouch ouch

my brain buzzes like how tv static feels when you get too close to the screen

might i be so bold to declare myself an Alchemist? reason being how i artfully transmute sustenance into mud from mine butt?

even without grandchildren i am like, so grandma rn. buying treat tins cus I like the look of em, blasphemously emptying them out and filling them with random aaa sh!t! yep. this rocks (my rocking chair). 👵

you’ve heard of Carl Jung, here comes Kyle Yold

i just wanna eat yummy yummy naan for a long time

im manifesting the most deliciously lead painted doohickey for me to lick like the poisoned lollipop that it is

Homestar saying howk twuh

i absolutely adore birds. when they love you so much and want to help you preen? so cute! they are so smart and precious. 🥺

my mind is cwapping itself. there’s a sleazy gameshow on old people hour tv but the theme song reminds me of old rpg games im in too deep bros

i need calzone

please have me be your reference on your resume. i’ll tell your potential future employer how dedicated you are to your pasture of work - being your constant striving to exceed your high-score of how many horses you can murder with your bare hands in a single day. I got you, buddy!

hello fellow silly heads, what volatile chem brews are we chewing on tonight? My go to atm is battery acid, can’t go wrong with the classics.