He’s such an irredeemable arsehole.

Belated commiserations to your boyfriend at the time x

That eye make up must have taken an age.

Cheese powder, onion powder, sugar.

No to this.

For the avoidance of doubt, what do people say when you wear fake fur and crocs ?

Same pattern/reaction

So badly written.

People who put their tree up in November should be flogged with holly.

People bragging about their wine, though. Eeew.

(Why are you capping every word here?)

Definitely something in that.
I worked on a daily regional paper where a buffoonish ad rep became - somehow - MD and all he cared about was ads.
I imagine he watched only the ads on tv and put the kettle on when the programmes started.

I wrap ham around it . He doesn’t seem to notice/mind.

You won’t be when that bill lands .