Ooh, which ones are those? I see there’s a second book after Swordheart but it’s not out until 2026?

🫂

What an opening simile 😆

How's this?

ANASTASIA x RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND

After a costly mistake, 24yo thief Ness faces exile from her gang unless she can steal a prince, get him to his rich aunt, and keep her pretty nemesis from interfering. Falling for both of them wasn't planned.

#MockPit #FiFRevPit #A #F #R #LGBT

Maybe you could try something like "When a traumatized intern accidentally strands..."?

The MC is the leader of her crew, and two years ago, she made a mistake that almost cost the gang one of their jobs. She's been trying to earn back the trust of the leader of the gang who's threatening to kick her whole crew out of the gang if they don't complete this next job (stealing the prince).

It's a gang of criminals. Do you think that needs to be made clearer?

Oooh, I'm intrigued by the magic cosemtics and to find out why he hates the MC!

It is definitely tricky. How will using her mind magic or him discovering she has it jeopardize the trust of the man she loves? Is there a chance Vreta might make things worse while trying to free his sister?

Love the sound of this!

Why is the evil one going after Kat specifically? Also is she someone with multiple lives? The last line makes it sound like this might be the case.

I think adding that she is the love interest's sister would be a good way to show more of her motivations.

This is a good start! I think the name of the cockatoo might be unnecessary for the pitch. I think it would be better to establish that Lumi is the wild girl. Is this a dual POV story? If not, I would also recommend putting Bugsy's name first in the second sentence to clarify he's the MC.

Sounds good. I'm assuming something in the story tempts her to consider abandoning her "duty" to sacrifice herself, so if you can fit a hint to that in your reworked pitch, I think that might help with stakes.

Does the intern intentionally strand the archeology team or is it an accident?

Okay, maybe something like: "On a planet governed by oppression and censorship, two interplanetary librarians investigate the disappearance of the one government official sympathetic to reform..."

This is definitely an intriguing pitch. I'm wondering if a little more specificity can really tie things together. Do Star Slayers kill stars and Star Wardens work to prevent them from doing so? Does the magic of their realms relate to stars?

I think you have a good start with the pitch in the graphic. Perhaps you can give more details as to the stakes of what might happen if the powerful secret is revealed or how it will affect the MC?