Nobody has reverently kissed my hands in days. I’m withering away. Fading fast.

I hope in a past life I was a beautiful fat mermaid who laid out on a dazzling rock in the ocean with her tits out and lured men to their deaths. That’s the only explanation for why I’m cursed in this life with corporate America and having to manage finances…

Had to spell a name out over the phone to a veterinary colleague today but I don’t have the phonetic alphabet memorized so I said

T as in Tularemia
R as in Rabies
A as in Anaplasma
S as in Salmonella
K as in Ketones
Y as in Yersinia

Got the job done.

Had an appointment with a dietician and she told me I needed to cut back on rice and beans. As a Mexican, I disagree.

A friend asked me if my work office was dog friendly.

*looks around veterinary clinic*

I sure hope so.

Finally got to Rerir’s introduction in Genshin and actually sat upright and brushed the crumbs off of my shirt so I’d look presentable.

Listen if I go on a 4 day trip I’m packing a minimum of 12 underwear just in case I shit myself for breakfast, lunch, and dinner each day.

Today a client accused me of treating the clinic like a fashion show and wearing too much make up for work.

But I’m wearing…

**checks notes**

…scrubs and mascara.

I hate when I open a fresh tampon and the string doesn’t have a knot at the end. I’m sitting here in some of the worst pain of my life and now I gotta weave a knot at the tip of 3cm of wispy string? Don’t piss me off.

Y’all are all about morning oats with fruit on top but suddenly nobody likes oatmeal raisin cookies? Bunch of fakers.

Eating pink cotton candy satisfies my desire to eat wall insulation.

As a doctor, I usually don’t mind when my own doctors are more clinical and cold. But I knew I found my new dermatologist yesterday when after our initial consult and my exam she said to me, “I look forward to taking care of you.”

It’s nearly soup season. I can almost taste it.

He’s playing Stardew while I’m trying to see what that dick do.

I’m hard-headed, straight out the womb no soft spot.

I miss playing otome games while giggling and kicking my feet over 2D characters. Something about it fulfills me.

Autumn activity ideas:

- Make your own apple cider
- Collect changing color leaves to get a full rainbow
- Hunt men for sport
- Chili cooking contest
- Bathe in the blood of your enemies under a full moon
- Fuck in a corn maze
- Make and decorate candied apples