Lying there listening to records with you felt like I was 8 again. No expectations. No complicated emotions. No fear. Just warmth and love.

You say you want what's best for me. I think you do. I just don't think you know what that is anymore. Neither do I.

I still love you. I do know that.

gnight sweet people out there ❤️

a guy spit on me once on "accident" at a party and I saw god.

it was an awakening I probably could have lived without tbh

how do you order weed my brother always did it for me and I'm too anxious to ask is it like doordash.

There should be an app for uber eating dispensaries.

Sometimes I wonder if I listen to so much Chappell Roan because I love her music or because mom says her songs are sinful and will send me to hell faster and I love that it pisses her off.

Then I pop on Midwest Princess and experience pure bliss.

The pissing off mom part is just the icing!

Apparently I'm really good at making bad decisions EXCEPT when I really want to lol.

Something I want to scream at him but can't: I desperately want you to know that you can come to my room while I'm here without my saying you can come to my room. I don't have the plague, so don't act like I'm sick. You never used to do this.

Fuck.

Honestly, I would kill to have snow all year. Desperately hoping that when I'm older, these days aren't a relic of the past, but I'm not super hopeful atm.

Excused myself from dinner tonight to finger myself in the bathroom thinking about him. I literally couldn't take being at the same table as him. Thought distance and college and work would calm me down. Fuck was I wrong.

1 more week. Literally just have to make it 1 more week. Come on Lauren.

Hello world! Feel like I'm screaming into the void atm, but there's something comforting about that ❤️.

Don't know why I decided to post at all, but I'm feeling all cooped up at home over the break. Thought writing something down would make the restlessness better.

Social media feels so weird!