i just walked past a street called glicksman glick lane & all it contained was a metal grate and 3000 pigeons

no offense but anthony bourdain was kind of corny

when doctors call a cough productive it’s just like what the actual fuck

yo i don’t have a book but i have a really sick substack where i write about wine in a COOL and EMOTIONAL way that really should be a book but idk i guess im just doomed to be the franz kafka of my time anywhere here she is drinkingaruby.substack.com

i want to write a tv show so there can be a scene where the me character is crying while listening to sticky by bashy and driving

eating baby carrots w hummus is so pam beesly coded

the cartoon bassist from gorillaz is my literal type, kill me

why would you give a writer a notebook as a gift. like they clearly already have one

it would be cute if humans had tails but at the same time if we did we’d be so obsessed with customising and adorning them and i’m happy i don’t have an extra thing like that to worry about

do you ever think about what nickname you’d go by if you had a different name

gauche things: when your server gives you a menu and says “some reading material”

gauche things: calling william shakespeare billy or bill

it’s sort of fun that she named it goop

i just learned in a youtube ad that the future of kibble is here