We always described my dissertation adviser's style as "like a helpful adult explaining research to a muppet on Sesame Street" and think audiences almost always loved it.

I am going to find a way to print this out and hang it up in my lab.

Hours later, I received a call from a group of students who found my pizza in the entryway of a nearby academic building. They reported a piece had been taken. I told them they could have the rest.