lagutey.bsky.social
@lagutey.bsky.social
“I know you kick a man in the balls, but where the heck do you kick a woman?” The 9-year-old has some self-defense questions.
June 6, 2025 at 6:27 PM
“I know you kick a man in the balls, but where the heck do you kick a woman?” The 9-year-old has some self-defense questions.
I don’t feel old, but then why did I just read a whole Costco Connection article about sheds?
May 19, 2025 at 5:17 PM
I don’t feel old, but then why did I just read a whole Costco Connection article about sheds?
Walked through a web a spider had spun between the car and a bush and didn’t think anything of it til I was driving and felt something on my neck.
May 1, 2025 at 5:39 PM
Walked through a web a spider had spun between the car and a bush and didn’t think anything of it til I was driving and felt something on my neck.
Waiting for my car at the dealership, I watched a salesman tread a fine line as a potential customer asked him how old he thought she was. After a long pause he says “36, respectfully.” She had to be at least 50. He sealed the deal. They will teach this move in business school for generations.
April 22, 2025 at 5:48 PM
Waiting for my car at the dealership, I watched a salesman tread a fine line as a potential customer asked him how old he thought she was. After a long pause he says “36, respectfully.” She had to be at least 50. He sealed the deal. They will teach this move in business school for generations.
Like a lemming drawn inexorably to the sea cliffs, I find myself in Sephora the day before Coachella buying sparkly eyeliner.
April 10, 2025 at 6:48 PM
Like a lemming drawn inexorably to the sea cliffs, I find myself in Sephora the day before Coachella buying sparkly eyeliner.
HELP NEEDED. Imagine, you are a middle-aged woman taking a teen to Coachella. What do you wear so you're comfortable but don't look like Ms. Havisham haunting the festival grounds? Write your little joke and then delete it and give me some actual advice, dammit.
April 7, 2025 at 5:03 PM
HELP NEEDED. Imagine, you are a middle-aged woman taking a teen to Coachella. What do you wear so you're comfortable but don't look like Ms. Havisham haunting the festival grounds? Write your little joke and then delete it and give me some actual advice, dammit.
I was at the grocery store this morning at 8am, along with 75% of local husbands and boyfriends.
February 14, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I was at the grocery store this morning at 8am, along with 75% of local husbands and boyfriends.
Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, chosen to mark the day Auschwitz was liberated in 1945. If you're so moved, you can go to www.illuminatethepast.org and light a candle for one of the victims.
Illuminate
Illuminate is a Holocaust remembrance and education initiative. Please take time to #RememberOne victim and join our global community.
www.illuminatethepast.org
January 27, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Today is International Holocaust Remembrance Day, chosen to mark the day Auschwitz was liberated in 1945. If you're so moved, you can go to www.illuminatethepast.org and light a candle for one of the victims.
Checking out at the grocery store, the woman in front of me looked at my items and snarkily commented, "Huh, that's a LOT of crackers" as she paid for her boxed wine at 9am. I love LA.
January 17, 2025 at 6:33 PM
Checking out at the grocery store, the woman in front of me looked at my items and snarkily commented, "Huh, that's a LOT of crackers" as she paid for her boxed wine at 9am. I love LA.
My message to Hollywood in 2025:
January 7, 2025 at 6:34 PM
My message to Hollywood in 2025:
Out on a crisp early morning dog walk, it was only after I tightly tied the poop bag that I realized I had knotted my sweatshirt strings into the plastic handle. Happy new year.
January 1, 2025 at 6:42 PM
Out on a crisp early morning dog walk, it was only after I tightly tied the poop bag that I realized I had knotted my sweatshirt strings into the plastic handle. Happy new year.
Out with the dog at 8:30am, I discovered a 5-year-old in a tiny Lamborghini, right out from under the tree. His dad followed, filming, as the kid took his first drive around the block, until, a few minutes in, the battery died.
December 25, 2024 at 8:06 PM
Out with the dog at 8:30am, I discovered a 5-year-old in a tiny Lamborghini, right out from under the tree. His dad followed, filming, as the kid took his first drive around the block, until, a few minutes in, the battery died.
The 12-year-old and I were waiting to check out at Joann and he looked at a display of Christmas stockings and asked, “Why are they trying to sell us big socks?” No idea what they were.
December 18, 2024 at 7:44 PM
The 12-year-old and I were waiting to check out at Joann and he looked at a display of Christmas stockings and asked, “Why are they trying to sell us big socks?” No idea what they were.
I am a television professional, I think to myself as I scratch an itch on my back with a plastic Starbucks fork.
December 13, 2024 at 6:50 PM
I am a television professional, I think to myself as I scratch an itch on my back with a plastic Starbucks fork.
One month later, the 9-year-old’s Halloween graffiti lives on
November 26, 2024 at 7:02 PM
One month later, the 9-year-old’s Halloween graffiti lives on
We were going out to dinner and I told the 12-year-old to bring a sweater in case it got cold and he looked at me like I’m a complete idiot and asked, “What’s a sweater?” And he was serious.
November 25, 2024 at 6:20 PM
We were going out to dinner and I told the 12-year-old to bring a sweater in case it got cold and he looked at me like I’m a complete idiot and asked, “What’s a sweater?” And he was serious.
Brought a roll home in my nice purse. I’ve gone full Golden Girls.
November 20, 2024 at 7:15 PM
Brought a roll home in my nice purse. I’ve gone full Golden Girls.
I came to the middle school history fair to learn about different cultures and now I’m working a booth about ancient China, arguing with children over how much a half cup of green tea is worth.
November 19, 2024 at 7:06 PM
I came to the middle school history fair to learn about different cultures and now I’m working a booth about ancient China, arguing with children over how much a half cup of green tea is worth.
I am so sorry
my dog shit in your driveway
It is where he chose
my dog shit in your driveway
It is where he chose
November 19, 2024 at 7:06 PM
I am so sorry
my dog shit in your driveway
It is where he chose
my dog shit in your driveway
It is where he chose
Storm Watch 2024 postmortem: These LA tweens have not been taught proper umbrella etiquette.
November 19, 2024 at 7:06 PM
Storm Watch 2024 postmortem: These LA tweens have not been taught proper umbrella etiquette.