TELL THE PEOPLE, NOT CARDI B

They had Sandy walking everywhere in those damn heels

Sharon Stone tagging herself in photos of other celebs is the vibe I wish I could bring into 2025

Just lost my earbuds in a damn Lyft. So pissed at myself.

Shouts to Beyonce for finally giving this caffeine addict a mug

The moment the credits hit and lights go up after Wicked, my mom turns to me and says "I didn't know this was a musical"

Not sure why but the little wristband they give you when you grab a cocktail at the theater feels like snitching.

On the way home, it was:

-dust
-mop
-scrub the bathroom
-clear out the fridge

And now that I am home, it's:

-lay down
-make that list tomorrow's problem

You know this stretches that require you to say something along the line of "fuck" or "shit"? Try to refrain from doing those on the phone during a job interview.

I'm 37 so I *get it* but still, man.