I am again thinking of how bitter I am that I was not diagnosed 20 years ago before all this damage was done.

I don't know what to do with this bitter feeling, even though I know it's righteous.

Definitely! I know when you lose a baby it's hard to avoid looking back and thinking you did such-and-such wrong, you could've done X better, but Jessie had a great (and long!) life with you. I promise.

I'm so sorry, Evy. I can't think of a bird more well loved than Jessie, and she knew that love. She'll be sorely missed.