im losing it a little

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Maybe this is just a phase but i want to experiment anyways because maybe a creative shift is what i need

i dont know why but i always assumed you graduated college or something... 😯
but thank you PL!!! i usually do a ton of various scholarships and i did actually get a couple for my college but SCAD is diabolically expensive lolol (4K for JUST one class... My scholarships cut it down to 2K but OW!!!)

Hmm more personally probably meeting one of my friends cuz it led to me getting diagnosed with bpd and that sure changed some stuff!

but these damn pipes.... hmu in 5 years and ill answer this question

Theres a couple of things that could be it but i feel like I wouldve gone on this path anyways!

dangaronpa: got me into art
project parafer: got me into game development
maybe even HI3 which was the reason I made malchr...

If i do this i might be satisfied with myself without worrying too much.... Arghh Okay OKAY!!! i need to stop being miserable and pitying myself!!!!

I think i might unironically make a slideshow presentation of my goals to my parents... I already told them im gonna drop out of SCAD to save money and seeing my sister's medical school bills, I dont want to go to our in state college either. Also tbh ive always thought college was a scam LOLOL

I know what i need to do if i want to make this work but the investment and possibility of failure keeps spooking me... Which is why ive always been funding my projects myself as i worry about wasting my family's money (+ explaining this to my old age parents will be. Hard)

I dont NEED to go to college and to be honest i kinda dont want to! Ive only been going because going to college makes art seem more professional to my parents + they never went to college, but ack! Maybe i should trust myself

-for a vtuber group.... Hmm but I guess i also keep making excuses for why im not going all in on my dreams i suppose...

I want to take a slightly big and maybe reckless decision to just go all in on content creation and art online since i DO know how the algorithm works and how to be professional but Hmmm I dont know! I guess whats stopping me is that im nervous about losing my self identity like when i was profes-