Kylie
@ky-jelly.bsky.social
Debt free virgin without tattoos.
Astros. Clippers. Oilers.
Texas Tech alum.
Astros. Clippers. Oilers.
Texas Tech alum.
I’m incredibly high right now and I’ve never been more aware of my shoulders in my life. I think they may be too close to my ears.
May 13, 2025 at 2:00 AM
I’m incredibly high right now and I’ve never been more aware of my shoulders in my life. I think they may be too close to my ears.
There’s this dude and I don’t actually know him that well but I’ve got a big crush on him and I had a dream I bought him a weathervane for Valentine’s Day and he loved it. So I’m gonna lose my shit if I find out someday this man gives so many fucks about the wind’s direction.
February 12, 2025 at 9:48 PM
There’s this dude and I don’t actually know him that well but I’ve got a big crush on him and I had a dream I bought him a weathervane for Valentine’s Day and he loved it. So I’m gonna lose my shit if I find out someday this man gives so many fucks about the wind’s direction.
A few years ago a casting director reached out to me to be on a blind dating tv show and I turned it down. As far as I can tell the show never actually got made but I do sometimes feel bad that I assisted in depriving the world of me on reality tv.
January 6, 2025 at 1:17 AM
A few years ago a casting director reached out to me to be on a blind dating tv show and I turned it down. As far as I can tell the show never actually got made but I do sometimes feel bad that I assisted in depriving the world of me on reality tv.
I have a whole ass twelve year long career for an industry leader that pays me really well. But I also make people laugh on the internet for free and sometimes I take that more seriously.
January 3, 2025 at 2:37 AM
I have a whole ass twelve year long career for an industry leader that pays me really well. But I also make people laugh on the internet for free and sometimes I take that more seriously.
13 years ago today I met and subsequently spent an entire evening with DMX.
RIP my friend.
RIP my friend.
December 5, 2024 at 9:44 PM
13 years ago today I met and subsequently spent an entire evening with DMX.
RIP my friend.
RIP my friend.
I know Spotify is a rip off that doesn’t pay artists enough and that there are better ways to support them than streaming on that platform.
That’s why I also go to shows, buy merch, and sleep with bass players.
That’s why I also go to shows, buy merch, and sleep with bass players.
December 5, 2024 at 1:49 AM
I know Spotify is a rip off that doesn’t pay artists enough and that there are better ways to support them than streaming on that platform.
That’s why I also go to shows, buy merch, and sleep with bass players.
That’s why I also go to shows, buy merch, and sleep with bass players.
I’m currently feeling the most fulfilled and useful in my career than I have in the past 12 years and I’m also the most stressed and overwhelmed in it that I’ve ever been. It’s like, can’t I just have this one nice thing? Please.
December 4, 2024 at 10:12 PM
I’m currently feeling the most fulfilled and useful in my career than I have in the past 12 years and I’m also the most stressed and overwhelmed in it that I’ve ever been. It’s like, can’t I just have this one nice thing? Please.
My grandmother waited until I left the room and then described me as “full. Just full everywhere” while making a giant circle with her hands.
I’m impressed that she’s found new, inventive ways to call me fat without using the word fat.
Love that for me.
I’m impressed that she’s found new, inventive ways to call me fat without using the word fat.
Love that for me.
November 30, 2024 at 2:12 AM
My grandmother waited until I left the room and then described me as “full. Just full everywhere” while making a giant circle with her hands.
I’m impressed that she’s found new, inventive ways to call me fat without using the word fat.
Love that for me.
I’m impressed that she’s found new, inventive ways to call me fat without using the word fat.
Love that for me.
Preferably a sloppy make out session but I’ll take what I can get.
Y’all remember when you’re out drinking in your hometowns tonight, kiss someone from high school in honor of my birthday. It’s the only gift I want from y’all.
November 27, 2024 at 9:35 PM
Preferably a sloppy make out session but I’ll take what I can get.
Y’all remember when you’re out drinking in your hometowns tonight, kiss someone from high school in honor of my birthday. It’s the only gift I want from y’all.
November 27, 2024 at 9:09 PM
Y’all remember when you’re out drinking in your hometowns tonight, kiss someone from high school in honor of my birthday. It’s the only gift I want from y’all.
The first guy I dated when I moved to Dallas 12 years ago still wishes me a happy birthday every year. It’s equal parts sweet and alarming.
November 27, 2024 at 4:58 PM
The first guy I dated when I moved to Dallas 12 years ago still wishes me a happy birthday every year. It’s equal parts sweet and alarming.
I went to brunch with a girlfriend I haven’t seen in 5 years and she watched me flirt with the waitress the whole time and then tipped her $20 cash on our $30 tab. And that’s a real one.
November 24, 2024 at 3:50 AM
I went to brunch with a girlfriend I haven’t seen in 5 years and she watched me flirt with the waitress the whole time and then tipped her $20 cash on our $30 tab. And that’s a real one.
I just saw a 6 minute long video of “flirty things you can text to say I’m thinking about you w/out saying I’m thinking about you” and just realized how lucky I am because I have a man in my life who will regularly text me to tell me he’s thinking of me. Being direct is hot y’all
November 22, 2024 at 8:21 PM
I just saw a 6 minute long video of “flirty things you can text to say I’m thinking about you w/out saying I’m thinking about you” and just realized how lucky I am because I have a man in my life who will regularly text me to tell me he’s thinking of me. Being direct is hot y’all
I’m trying to manifest birthday sex so every shower between now and Wednesday is going to be an everything shower even though I know the correct way to manifest sex is to shave nothing and let my home fall into disarray.
November 22, 2024 at 12:49 AM
I’m trying to manifest birthday sex so every shower between now and Wednesday is going to be an everything shower even though I know the correct way to manifest sex is to shave nothing and let my home fall into disarray.
I’m not gonna lie, I spent 15 years perfecting my bits and curating a following on the other app. The thought of starting over here is incredibly daunting.
Anyway, if you like self deprecating humor, hearing about a stranger’s sex life, hot music takes, and random sports posts. I’m your girl.
Anyway, if you like self deprecating humor, hearing about a stranger’s sex life, hot music takes, and random sports posts. I’m your girl.
November 21, 2024 at 1:52 AM
I’m not gonna lie, I spent 15 years perfecting my bits and curating a following on the other app. The thought of starting over here is incredibly daunting.
Anyway, if you like self deprecating humor, hearing about a stranger’s sex life, hot music takes, and random sports posts. I’m your girl.
Anyway, if you like self deprecating humor, hearing about a stranger’s sex life, hot music takes, and random sports posts. I’m your girl.
I love being a girls girl because after the American Aquarium show on Saturday we ran into one of the venue bartenders at karaoke & after 2 drinks she just started telling me how pretty I was & asking if she could touch my butt & I’m literally never going to tell a woman no to that one.
November 19, 2024 at 7:36 PM
I love being a girls girl because after the American Aquarium show on Saturday we ran into one of the venue bartenders at karaoke & after 2 drinks she just started telling me how pretty I was & asking if she could touch my butt & I’m literally never going to tell a woman no to that one.
So I hooked up with a door guy at one of the bars on Broadway in college literally 15 years ago and he ended up being really creepy/weird/clingy so I had to block him on everything. HE FOLLOWED ME ON TIKTOK YESTERDAY.
It’s been FIFTEEN YEARS.
That’s actually fucking wild yall
It’s been FIFTEEN YEARS.
That’s actually fucking wild yall
November 15, 2024 at 2:48 PM
So I hooked up with a door guy at one of the bars on Broadway in college literally 15 years ago and he ended up being really creepy/weird/clingy so I had to block him on everything. HE FOLLOWED ME ON TIKTOK YESTERDAY.
It’s been FIFTEEN YEARS.
That’s actually fucking wild yall
It’s been FIFTEEN YEARS.
That’s actually fucking wild yall
I actually threw too much ass last night. Today my knees hurt.
November 13, 2024 at 2:40 AM
I actually threw too much ass last night. Today my knees hurt.
Almost every man at my gym is 5’8” and they all look like they want uppies. I’m in heaven.
January 3, 2024 at 11:19 PM
Almost every man at my gym is 5’8” and they all look like they want uppies. I’m in heaven.
One time in college I was dating this dude and he asked if we could meet at Starbucks so we could talk and I knew he was going to break up with me so I just didn’t show up and I wonder if he realizes that today is our 13 year anniversary…
December 12, 2023 at 5:06 AM
One time in college I was dating this dude and he asked if we could meet at Starbucks so we could talk and I knew he was going to break up with me so I just didn’t show up and I wonder if he realizes that today is our 13 year anniversary…
One of my coworkers just told me that they’re happy because they have a crush on someone. I’ve never experienced that. I’m like, “I have a crush on someone, I literally want to kill myself”
November 30, 2023 at 9:29 PM
One of my coworkers just told me that they’re happy because they have a crush on someone. I’ve never experienced that. I’m like, “I have a crush on someone, I literally want to kill myself”
One of my friends forgot about my birthday party and didn’t get me a gift so he just like, Zelle’d me $100 yesterday. It was wholly unnecessary but also like, I could use $100.
November 28, 2023 at 9:38 PM
One of my friends forgot about my birthday party and didn’t get me a gift so he just like, Zelle’d me $100 yesterday. It was wholly unnecessary but also like, I could use $100.