This generation needs to spend less time on Think Geek and more time Thinking like the ancient Greeks

WELL DONE RANGERS. ZORDON YOUR GOD GIVES YOU THE GIFT OF THE GUN. THE GUN IS GOOD. THE PENIS IS EVIL. THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS AND MAKES NEW LIFE AND POISONS THE EARTH WITH A PLAGUE OF MEN AS ONCE IT WAS, BUT THE GUN SHOOTS DEATH AND PURIFIES THE EARTH OF THE FILTH OF BRUTALS. GO FORTH AND KILL!

i know not with what weapons the war covered in blowback season 5 will be fought, but the war covered in blowback season 6 will be fought with sticks and stones

"Doctor, I have depression. I've tried everything."
"The great clown Pagliacci is in town. Legend has it whoever beheads him will be cured of any mental illnesses, including depression."
"But doc... I AM Pagliacci!"
The doctor pulls out a samurai sword. "But Pagliacci... I also have depression."

sometimes minecraft villagers will say "hmm!", and sometimes "hmph!", but other times they tell me where a .44 special revolver was buried and then name six people that i must kill in real life. i've watched other people play the game on youtube and it doesn't seem to happen to them.

(listening to YMCA) wow. great song. but what if the "Young Man" was about Putin and Zelinky

look at these fucks.. trying to buy my carpets. im the carpet god

going to every website to announce that it is now called x. all posts are called x. renaming all my browser bookmarks to x

(guy who is constantly asked for a lighter but doesn't know about smoking) people sure are addicted to fire nowadays

(trying to do an "in minecraft" style of threat but getting too specific to the game) i'm going to put dennis prager in my skeleton farm

most japanese style ghosts who kill you for saying the wrong thing will just awkwardly leave if you say you don't speak japanese

Friends is different now