(FTAOD not "the big house".)

We need to find the "certain threshold" and a binary search over house size is the most efficient way to do it. Since you've selfessly volunteered you should be moved into the biggest house that exists forthwith.

Librarian. (The disobedient time-travelling alien-romancing universe-saving kind.)

Site won't let me read all of it but it reminded me a bit of Teilhard de Chardin's ideas.

It sounds like they are in fact too incompetent too actually ask you a question!

Post the wrong answer on social media.

My colleagues exist in multiple timezones and working cultures (not to mention holiday/sick leave/preferring odd working hours). Basically I have no idea when is convenient for them to read email.

Thankfully none of them have decided to make this anyone's problem but their own.

The AI bubble in canned form!

Glad to see you've got it sorted, I've been rewatching The X-Files and reading Monster Of The Week as I go.