Kurt Vonnegut
@kurt-vonnegut.bsky.social
Satire, humanism and a touch of cosmic absurdity—quotes and passages celebrating the wit and wisdom of author Kurt Vonnegut.
Anticipating the invention of chat LLMs nearly 40 years before their commercial proliferation, Kurt Vonnegut gave us “Mandarax” in his 1985 novel, Galápagos.
November 11, 2025 at 3:45 PM
Anticipating the invention of chat LLMs nearly 40 years before their commercial proliferation, Kurt Vonnegut gave us “Mandarax” in his 1985 novel, Galápagos.
“It had eight new French fighter-bombers and each of these planes, moreover, was equipped with an American air-to-ground missile with a Japanese brain which could home in on radar signals, or on heat from an engine, depending on instructions from the pilot.“
Galápagos (1985) 1/4
Galápagos (1985) 1/4
October 21, 2025 at 7:10 PM
“It had eight new French fighter-bombers and each of these planes, moreover, was equipped with an American air-to-ground missile with a Japanese brain which could home in on radar signals, or on heat from an engine, depending on instructions from the pilot.“
Galápagos (1985) 1/4
Galápagos (1985) 1/4
“I was impressed. I realized that nations could never acknowledge their own wars as tragedies, but that families not only could but had to.
Bully for them!”
Slapstick (1976) 6/6
Bully for them!”
Slapstick (1976) 6/6
October 20, 2025 at 1:03 PM
“I was impressed. I realized that nations could never acknowledge their own wars as tragedies, but that families not only could but had to.
Bully for them!”
Slapstick (1976) 6/6
Bully for them!”
Slapstick (1976) 6/6
“But then, just when everything was going so well — when Americans were happier than they had ever been, even though the country was bankrupt and falling apart — people began to die by the millions. . . And that was the end of the Nation. It became families, and nothing more.”
Slapstick (1974) 1/5
Slapstick (1974) 1/5
October 19, 2025 at 2:36 PM
“But then, just when everything was going so well — when Americans were happier than they had ever been, even though the country was bankrupt and falling apart — people began to die by the millions. . . And that was the end of the Nation. It became families, and nothing more.”
Slapstick (1974) 1/5
Slapstick (1974) 1/5
“[He] described the incredible artificial weather that Earthlings sometimes create for other Earthlings when they don't want those other Earthlings to inhabit Earth any more. Shells were bursting in the treetops with terrific bangs, he said, showering down knives and needles and razorblades.”
(S5)
(S5)
October 17, 2025 at 3:41 PM
“[He] described the incredible artificial weather that Earthlings sometimes create for other Earthlings when they don't want those other Earthlings to inhabit Earth any more. Shells were bursting in the treetops with terrific bangs, he said, showering down knives and needles and razorblades.”
(S5)
(S5)
“She upset Billy simply by being his mother. She made him feel embarrassed and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn't really like life at all.”
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
October 17, 2025 at 3:33 PM
“She upset Billy simply by being his mother. She made him feel embarrassed and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn't really like life at all.”
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
Slaughterhouse-Five (1969)
“I find myself thinking even now that the story of Sacco and Vanzetti may yet enter the bones of future generations. Perhaps it needs to be told only a few more times. . .”
Jailbird (1979)
(1/9)
Jailbird (1979)
(1/9)
October 14, 2025 at 4:31 PM
“I find myself thinking even now that the story of Sacco and Vanzetti may yet enter the bones of future generations. Perhaps it needs to be told only a few more times. . .”
Jailbird (1979)
(1/9)
Jailbird (1979)
(1/9)
"’I should want to go to jail?’ said Paul, trying to get some sort of message for himself out of the anecdote.
‘You shouldn't let fear of jail keep you from doing what you believe in.’”
‘You shouldn't let fear of jail keep you from doing what you believe in.’”
". . . “Anyway, Thoreau was in jail because he wouldn't pay a tax to support the Mexican War. He didn't believe in the war. And Emerson came to jail to see him. 'Henry,' he said, 'why are you here?' And Thoreau said, 'Ralph, why *aren't* you here?’”. . .”
Player Piano (1952)
Player Piano (1952)
October 9, 2025 at 1:08 AM
"’I should want to go to jail?’ said Paul, trying to get some sort of message for himself out of the anecdote.
‘You shouldn't let fear of jail keep you from doing what you believe in.’”
‘You shouldn't let fear of jail keep you from doing what you believe in.’”
“The only Martian military success was the capture of a meat market in Basel, Switzerland, by seventeen Parachute Ski Marines.
Everywhere else the Martians were butchered promptly, before they could even dig in.
As much butchering was done by amateurs as by professionals.” 1/
Everywhere else the Martians were butchered promptly, before they could even dig in.
As much butchering was done by amateurs as by professionals.” 1/
October 8, 2025 at 3:27 PM
“The only Martian military success was the capture of a meat market in Basel, Switzerland, by seventeen Parachute Ski Marines.
Everywhere else the Martians were butchered promptly, before they could even dig in.
As much butchering was done by amateurs as by professionals.” 1/
Everywhere else the Martians were butchered promptly, before they could even dig in.
As much butchering was done by amateurs as by professionals.” 1/
“He was laughing at the ferocious mess he was in—at the way he had pretended all his army life that he had understood everything that was going on, and that everything that was going on was just fine.
He was laughing at the dumb way he had let himself be used—by God knows who for God knows what.” 1/
He was laughing at the dumb way he had let himself be used—by God knows who for God knows what.” 1/
October 8, 2025 at 3:16 PM
“He was laughing at the ferocious mess he was in—at the way he had pretended all his army life that he had understood everything that was going on, and that everything that was going on was just fine.
He was laughing at the dumb way he had let himself be used—by God knows who for God knows what.” 1/
He was laughing at the dumb way he had let himself be used—by God knows who for God knows what.” 1/
“I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled ‘science fiction’ ever since, and I would like out, particularly since so many serious critics regularly mistake the drawer for a urinal.
The way a person gets into this drawer, apparently, is to notice technology.”
Science Fiction (1974)
The way a person gets into this drawer, apparently, is to notice technology.”
Science Fiction (1974)
October 7, 2025 at 1:35 PM
“I have been a soreheaded occupant of a file drawer labeled ‘science fiction’ ever since, and I would like out, particularly since so many serious critics regularly mistake the drawer for a urinal.
The way a person gets into this drawer, apparently, is to notice technology.”
Science Fiction (1974)
The way a person gets into this drawer, apparently, is to notice technology.”
Science Fiction (1974)
“Midland City has now been depopulated by a neutron bomb explosion. It might have been a bigger story, a signal for the start of World War Three, if the Government hadn't acknowledged at once that the bomb was made in America. One newscast I heard called it *a friendly bomb.*. . .” (1/5)
October 7, 2025 at 11:33 AM
“Midland City has now been depopulated by a neutron bomb explosion. It might have been a bigger story, a signal for the start of World War Three, if the Government hadn't acknowledged at once that the bomb was made in America. One newscast I heard called it *a friendly bomb.*. . .” (1/5)
"’That's worse. You're a Fascist, Wilbur. That's what you are.’
‘That's absurd,’ I said.
‘Fascists are inferior people who believe it when somebody tells them they're superior,’ she said.
‘Now, now—‘ I said.
‘Then they want everybody else to die,’ she said.”
Slapstick (1976)
‘That's absurd,’ I said.
‘Fascists are inferior people who believe it when somebody tells them they're superior,’ she said.
‘Now, now—‘ I said.
‘Then they want everybody else to die,’ she said.”
Slapstick (1976)
October 6, 2025 at 9:46 PM
"’That's worse. You're a Fascist, Wilbur. That's what you are.’
‘That's absurd,’ I said.
‘Fascists are inferior people who believe it when somebody tells them they're superior,’ she said.
‘Now, now—‘ I said.
‘Then they want everybody else to die,’ she said.”
Slapstick (1976)
‘That's absurd,’ I said.
‘Fascists are inferior people who believe it when somebody tells them they're superior,’ she said.
‘Now, now—‘ I said.
‘Then they want everybody else to die,’ she said.”
Slapstick (1976)
“He predicted, I remember, that human slavery would come back, that it had in fact never gone away. He said that so many people wanted to come here because it was so easy to rob the poor people, who got absolutely no protection from the Government. . .” (1/4)
October 6, 2025 at 3:53 PM
“He predicted, I remember, that human slavery would come back, that it had in fact never gone away. He said that so many people wanted to come here because it was so easy to rob the poor people, who got absolutely no protection from the Government. . .” (1/4)
“[S]imply moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work . . .”
Bluebeard (1987)
Bluebeard (1987)
October 1, 2025 at 4:44 PM
“[S]imply moderate giftedness has been made worthless by the printing press and radio and television and satellites and all that. A moderately gifted person who would have been a community treasure a thousand years ago has to give up, has to go into some other line of work . . .”
Bluebeard (1987)
Bluebeard (1987)
“Another thing the Elders liked about Earthlings was that they feared and hated other Earthlings who did not look and talk exactly as they did. They made life a hell for each other as wellas for what they called ‘lower animals.’ They actually thought of strangers as lower animals.“ 1/2
September 30, 2025 at 1:24 PM
“Another thing the Elders liked about Earthlings was that they feared and hated other Earthlings who did not look and talk exactly as they did. They made life a hell for each other as wellas for what they called ‘lower animals.’ They actually thought of strangers as lower animals.“ 1/2
“If I'd wasted time creating characters, I would never have gotten around to calling attention to things that really matter: irresistible forces in nature, and cruel inventions, and cockamamie ideals and governments and economies that make heroes and heroines feel like something the cat drug in.”1/2
September 29, 2025 at 5:42 PM
“If I'd wasted time creating characters, I would never have gotten around to calling attention to things that really matter: irresistible forces in nature, and cruel inventions, and cockamamie ideals and governments and economies that make heroes and heroines feel like something the cat drug in.”1/2
“[1970] gave me a job in the Nixon White House. [1975] sent me to prison for my own preposterous contributions to the American political scandals known collectively as *Watergate*. Three years ago, as I write, [1977] was about to turn me loose again. I felt like a piece of garbage.”
Jailbird (1979)
Jailbird (1979)
September 28, 2025 at 5:38 PM
“[1970] gave me a job in the Nixon White House. [1975] sent me to prison for my own preposterous contributions to the American political scandals known collectively as *Watergate*. Three years ago, as I write, [1977] was about to turn me loose again. I felt like a piece of garbage.”
Jailbird (1979)
Jailbird (1979)
"It's all right," she said. "You couldn't help it that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed—so you were a good man just the same."
Jailbird (1979)
Jailbird (1979)
September 28, 2025 at 4:58 PM
"It's all right," she said. "You couldn't help it that you were born without a heart. At least you tried to believe what the people with hearts believed—so you were a good man just the same."
Jailbird (1979)
Jailbird (1979)
“The novel was about the end of the world in the year 2000. It told of how mad scientists made a terrific bomb that wiped out the whole world. There was a big sex orgy when everybody knew that the world was going to end, and then Jesus Christ Himself appeared ten seconds before the bomb went off.”
September 24, 2025 at 5:37 PM
“The novel was about the end of the world in the year 2000. It told of how mad scientists made a terrific bomb that wiped out the whole world. There was a big sex orgy when everybody knew that the world was going to end, and then Jesus Christ Himself appeared ten seconds before the bomb went off.”
“There was a small riot going on in the park adjacent to the United Nations, only three blocks away. Out-of-work white youths armed with baseball bats were braining men they thought were homosexuals. They threw one of them into the East River, who turned out to be the finance minister of Sri Lanka.”
September 23, 2025 at 5:01 PM
“There was a small riot going on in the park adjacent to the United Nations, only three blocks away. Out-of-work white youths armed with baseball bats were braining men they thought were homosexuals. They threw one of them into the East River, who turned out to be the finance minister of Sri Lanka.”
“How could he amount to anything if he did not use loaded dice? How has he used loaded dice with you? The laws that say he can fire anybody who stands up for the rights of workers—those are loaded dice. The policemen who protect his property rights but not your human rights—those are loaded dice."
September 23, 2025 at 4:24 PM
“How could he amount to anything if he did not use loaded dice? How has he used loaded dice with you? The laws that say he can fire anybody who stands up for the rights of workers—those are loaded dice. The policemen who protect his property rights but not your human rights—those are loaded dice."
“On this particular planet, where money mattered more than anything, the nicest person imaginable might suddenly get the idea of wringing her neck so that their loved ones might live in comfort. It would be the work of the moment— and easily forgotten as the years went by. Time flies.”
Jailbird ‘79
Jailbird ‘79
September 20, 2025 at 9:16 PM
“On this particular planet, where money mattered more than anything, the nicest person imaginable might suddenly get the idea of wringing her neck so that their loved ones might live in comfort. It would be the work of the moment— and easily forgotten as the years went by. Time flies.”
Jailbird ‘79
Jailbird ‘79
Reposted by Kurt Vonnegut
“. . .‘At least we still have freedom of speech,’ I said.
And she said, ‘That isn't something somebody else gives you.
That's something you have to give yourself.’”
Hocus Pocus (1990)
And she said, ‘That isn't something somebody else gives you.
That's something you have to give yourself.’”
Hocus Pocus (1990)
August 3, 2025 at 3:15 PM
“. . .‘At least we still have freedom of speech,’ I said.
And she said, ‘That isn't something somebody else gives you.
That's something you have to give yourself.’”
Hocus Pocus (1990)
And she said, ‘That isn't something somebody else gives you.
That's something you have to give yourself.’”
Hocus Pocus (1990)
“My idealism did not die even in the Nixon White House, did not die even in prison, did not die even when I became, my most recent employment, a vice-president of the Records Division of RAMJAC Corporation.
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”
September 19, 2025 at 11:12 AM
“My idealism did not die even in the Nixon White House, did not die even in prison, did not die even when I became, my most recent employment, a vice-president of the Records Division of RAMJAC Corporation.
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool.”