According to medical professionals, a normal person goes back to work after a day or two. I'm on day 10 and I still feel like shit and couldn't imagine being at work. It's destroying my self esteem and I feel so hopeless.

I got sideways looks when I said I took 4 weeks off work. I was given a medical certificate for just one week and one doctor mentioned in passing that that was already a lot. If I'm moving around easily with no wincing pain after a week, I'll possibly go back to work sooner. Will see how I feel.

Thank you. <3
I'm home and resting after about 5 hours at hospital. Lots of sleep and painkillers. The team took my concerns about pain very seriously and gave me several options for staying comfortable which I'm grateful for now the 'good stuff' is wearing off, but so far so good.

Anyway, hospital time in 3 hours. I'll see if I can sleep another 2 hours before then.

But it's okay. I'm still not good at being a friend to others, I know most people have a lot going on and this isn't a major thing. Certainly not something that I'm going to be mad about. I just hoped for a bit more from certain people, I guess.

I'm telling myself it's probably just that they don't think surgery is a big deal, but voices in my head like to remind me that I haven't exactly been very quiet about how anxious I feel, and even acquaintances who don't know me well bothered to check on me already, so it's me that isn't important.

The procedure is usually done with local anaesthetic while awake. It's called a LEEP or LLETZ if you're curious to look it up, but I really wouldn't recommend it. I delayed my treatment by 1-2 months waiting for an operating theatre so I only hope this is enough now. I'm a bit scared.

On top of that, I actually need to use fingers on both hands to count how many people have come to our house by appointment in the last two weeks for various personal and professional reasons. I don't really have days off to do nothing anymore. My life has become quite busy.