In that matter i still hope i have enough in me to try to be kind towards people no matter how bad things get.

But i still try to grow, even if that isn't always positive. Every obstacle and challenge is another part of a path i hope charts out something nice in the end. Unlike my S/O i don't give a rats ass what happens when i become worm food but i do care about helping the people around me now.

i still feel ashamed through it all that i still actually cant speak to people and furthermore don't particularly have an art i excel in. Even with games i'm "just alright" but i also suppose i've never wanted to master anything either.

A lot of my present motivation so far in my recent years in life has been a race against time to make what i have left worthwhile. Go see what life offers, climb its peaks and delve into its craters. Share your love with it and see how it all unfolds.

For now i'm gonna start refollowing some people and set out the new actual goal i'll have for this account.

But uhhh none of that shit matters, christmas is coming up! no matter how dour a storm is theres always the calm that follows it! I can't say i've been doing my best as i've been very physically exhausted but im gonna try to nail down some employment soon.

things are well and good with GI (if you know me then thats my name for me and doug and man and dread) although my initial plans of following through with being more social failed pretty bad. Ended up fucking myself up through that too.