being sick and not being able to get out is driving me insane i fear i just want to cry

like ik we've been together for almost two years but it still makes me fucking cry because i just don't see it i don't see what they see and i wish i could but im too mentally ill

i literally hate myself so much and it blows my mind that someone actually loves me

it's insane and i don't like thinking about it too much because i'll feel so genuinely horrible about myself if i do

and i want to be a boy but not in like a boy way

i don't feel like a girl or a boy but i want to be a girl in the same way that gerard way gets called a girl

i just feel so disconnected from myself and who i am that i don't even know who i am or what i am, i just feel like me