They done put me out. 🙃

I do believe the TikTok ban is terrible, but I am about to get so much done!

I’m two bottles in. Why is nobody responding to my drunk text messages?!

A middle aged white lady stopped me in Target holding a jar of shea butter and asked if I know about this stuff. I said yeah, and she looks me in the eyes and said “Please tell you white friends because they probably don’t know. I just learned about it and it’s changed my life.”

Wild.

I recently moved into a new neighborhood and my neighbors are constantly getting into it, yelling at each other across the street, cops been called at least twice. I think I’ve happened upon a real life feud. I’m trying to figure out how to get more details without getting too involved.

I know Law&Order SVU is copaganda, but it’s also Ice-T propaganda. Ice-T is aight at best, but after watching 20 seasons I’d fold for Odafin Tutuola in second.

As a nonrunner, I have yet to experience a runner’s high while running. Afterwards I feel like I can conquer the world, but during it’s just “I hate my body and my body hates me” on repeat.

Apparently my office changed toilet paper suppliers. One side is fine, the other is sandpaper. I did not intend to exfoliate my crack at work today.

Ain’t nothing like being wine drunk fresh out the shower

I was a perpetual watcher on the bird app. I might do a little something on here. Let’s see…